I said it before and I'll say it again...fibro sucks
Yes, it does.
Sometimes I feel like a little kid who doesn't get their way..."You never let me do ANYTHING!" Yeah, that's me screaming at fibro.
The thing about fibro is it isn't life threatening, it's life altering. I've heard the whispers, "she doesn't look like anythings wrong with her." "She's just saying that to get out of stuff." "She doesn't look disabled." Yeah, I get it, I look fat and happy. Well, I am, and most of the time I am, but that doesn't mean that I'm doing well. I just don't like to go around all the time looking like Droopy or Eeyore, although I could certainly pull it off, it wouldn't be hard.
Even though its not a life threatening disability, doesn't mean I don't need prayers sometimes. Just because I don't walk with some sort of aid, doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to walk. Sometimes raising my hands to wash or dry my hair, get a dish from the cupboard or even put something on the top shelf of my refrigerator is cause for me to wince. It's life altering.
Sometimes I get eight hours of sleep, sometimes only four, either way, most times its interrupted and my quality of sleep is diminished. Do that for a week and most folks are downright cranky. Me? Its most of the time, but I can't let that determine how I react or interact with others. I sometimes hit the wall at noon and have to lay down for an hour, most of the time I can get by until I can get past dinner. It doesn't mean I'll sleep through the night, however.
Before I was diagnosed with fibro, I thought my balance issues were just me, now I know differently. Tonight, while replacing the screen for the fireplace, I had a moment where my balance was just slightly off. Pitched forward and popped my lip on the wrought iron. Had a swollen lip for a while. Walking downstairs is an adventure that requires both hands gripping something. Upstairs is a totally different animal. Fibro is life altering.
Most of my life, I've had memory issues. If I don't write something down, I'll forget it. That's most people. Now, I can sit here and hammer out a manuscript and be crippled for days in my progress because I can't remember a common word that I need, or have the deer in the headlights look in the middle of a conversation because a word or concept has escaped me. No, I don't have Alzheimer's or dementia, I've been cleared of those, its the fibro, and its life altering.
Not too long ago I could walk for hours around a zoo, a mall, wherever and only have sore feet or maybe sore legs. Now, if I steam clean my house, I run the risk of being in bed the next day because I hurt so bad.
A few years back, my stress level was through the roof. Once I learned how to manage it, I was good. Now, if my stress level rises, its a good bet that I'll have a flare up.
As you can see, I've had some issues all my life, but they have never altered how I live life. Now, fibro seems to rule my life. I can never RSVP "yes" to an invitation but instead have to respond "maybe" because I don't know how a day is going to start. Planning trips includes planning for any flare ups that may occur due to plane or car travel. Fibro is doing its best to steal my joy.
I do all I can to make sure that I'm in Church and in my place in the Worship Choir, because I'll be doggoned if fibro will steal that joy from me. I do my best to do things with my Granddaughters even when I don't feel good, because they don't deserve having less of me because of fibro. I do my best to do what I can for my husband, my daughters, my parents and whoever needs me, because fibro does not own me, Christ does. It may alter my path, temporarily, but when I feel like I'm about to lose my mind, I take my frustrations to Christ in prayer...and I'll ask others to pray for me as well.
I used to be strong, now I'm not. Fibro is life altering, but it is not going to beat me. When I am at my weakest, Christ is at His strongest. Leaning into Him, laying the stress, frustrations, hurts, and fog at His feet are my best defense, and one I use on a daily basis.
Sometimes I feel like a little kid who doesn't get their way..."You never let me do ANYTHING!" Yeah, that's me screaming at fibro.
The thing about fibro is it isn't life threatening, it's life altering. I've heard the whispers, "she doesn't look like anythings wrong with her." "She's just saying that to get out of stuff." "She doesn't look disabled." Yeah, I get it, I look fat and happy. Well, I am, and most of the time I am, but that doesn't mean that I'm doing well. I just don't like to go around all the time looking like Droopy or Eeyore, although I could certainly pull it off, it wouldn't be hard.
Even though its not a life threatening disability, doesn't mean I don't need prayers sometimes. Just because I don't walk with some sort of aid, doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to walk. Sometimes raising my hands to wash or dry my hair, get a dish from the cupboard or even put something on the top shelf of my refrigerator is cause for me to wince. It's life altering.
Sometimes I get eight hours of sleep, sometimes only four, either way, most times its interrupted and my quality of sleep is diminished. Do that for a week and most folks are downright cranky. Me? Its most of the time, but I can't let that determine how I react or interact with others. I sometimes hit the wall at noon and have to lay down for an hour, most of the time I can get by until I can get past dinner. It doesn't mean I'll sleep through the night, however.
Before I was diagnosed with fibro, I thought my balance issues were just me, now I know differently. Tonight, while replacing the screen for the fireplace, I had a moment where my balance was just slightly off. Pitched forward and popped my lip on the wrought iron. Had a swollen lip for a while. Walking downstairs is an adventure that requires both hands gripping something. Upstairs is a totally different animal. Fibro is life altering.
Most of my life, I've had memory issues. If I don't write something down, I'll forget it. That's most people. Now, I can sit here and hammer out a manuscript and be crippled for days in my progress because I can't remember a common word that I need, or have the deer in the headlights look in the middle of a conversation because a word or concept has escaped me. No, I don't have Alzheimer's or dementia, I've been cleared of those, its the fibro, and its life altering.
Not too long ago I could walk for hours around a zoo, a mall, wherever and only have sore feet or maybe sore legs. Now, if I steam clean my house, I run the risk of being in bed the next day because I hurt so bad.
A few years back, my stress level was through the roof. Once I learned how to manage it, I was good. Now, if my stress level rises, its a good bet that I'll have a flare up.
As you can see, I've had some issues all my life, but they have never altered how I live life. Now, fibro seems to rule my life. I can never RSVP "yes" to an invitation but instead have to respond "maybe" because I don't know how a day is going to start. Planning trips includes planning for any flare ups that may occur due to plane or car travel. Fibro is doing its best to steal my joy.
I do all I can to make sure that I'm in Church and in my place in the Worship Choir, because I'll be doggoned if fibro will steal that joy from me. I do my best to do things with my Granddaughters even when I don't feel good, because they don't deserve having less of me because of fibro. I do my best to do what I can for my husband, my daughters, my parents and whoever needs me, because fibro does not own me, Christ does. It may alter my path, temporarily, but when I feel like I'm about to lose my mind, I take my frustrations to Christ in prayer...and I'll ask others to pray for me as well.
I used to be strong, now I'm not. Fibro is life altering, but it is not going to beat me. When I am at my weakest, Christ is at His strongest. Leaning into Him, laying the stress, frustrations, hurts, and fog at His feet are my best defense, and one I use on a daily basis.
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