Sticks and stones and other things

A dear friend of mine said this morning, "Words hurt." At this very moment, I whole-heartedly agree. As much as I want to say that words don't mean as much as actions, today I have to take that all back.

Words can be uplifting or devastating. The Bible itself has many things to say about that little member we call the tongue. James 3:8 says, "But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison," and I will agree. So many times we just don't think about the things that come out of our mouths. Then again, there are times we do think, but it is in a moment of passion, saying things that we regret but cannot take back.

When a person is hit by a barrage of words spoken in anger, frustration or fear, even though the recipient's face may reflect hurt, anger, fear or neutrality, the hurt runs deep. It runs to the very quick of the soul, planting a poison that cannot easily be contained.

When misunderstanding or assumption is mixed in, hurt spreads faster, deeper than we can imagine. The person who is assaulted by the barrage is left wounded, wondering what they had done or why they are the victim. To me, this kind of assault is as bad as a physical assault. The wounds are evident, if only for a small amount of time in the countenance of the person, but that person will carry that assault with them for a lifetime, wounding the self-esteem, the confidence, the joy that they had held prior.

I have to wonder sometimes, if a person who wounds another person in such a way has been wounded themselves sometime in the past. And as I sit and ponder that question, I have come to the conclusion that, yes, they have. It may not have been intentional. It may have been an invisible sibling rivalry that sprung up when they were yet in grade school. It may have been a word that was spoken by a parent or a person that was held in high esteem. A person on the receiving end of a barrage may never know the hurt the other person experienced, in fact, the person spewing the poison may not fully know themselves.

So, what then? Are we to take the anger, the bitterness, the fear, the hate? No, but to retaliate with the same only puts you on a level you shouldn't be on. As much as your heart may hurt, it is imperative that you trust the situation to God. Okay, I hear the noise y'all are making out there, the questions of why. It's simple; God knows your heart, and He knows the heart of the one who is the speaker of the words. He will hear your cries and give you peace, even if you are not privy to the why of the matter. He will work in your heart and the heart of the offender. Even if the end result is separation, it is for the better. Yes, there will be heartbreak and sadness, but the poison will be out of your system, so to speak. If you are part and parcel of the outburst because of a misstep, then apology and an attempt at restoration are mandatory for you. If the other party is unwilling to accept either, then it is on them, you must wash your hands of the situation, give it to God and don't look back. Will you be tempted to go back to try to do more? Yes, and God will allow you to do that as many times as you want to, but until you trust and have faith that He is able and willing to handle the situation, it is an exercise in futility.

Give it to God. Lay it at His feet, then walk away from it. Its not worth the heartache. Its not worth the decline in health because you continue to pick it up to try to deal with it on your own. You don't know the root cause, therefore you cannot fix it. Its not worth the rift it will cause by constantly picking it up and revisiting it. Healing comes from Jehovah Rapha and no other. We have to trust in that.

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