Mama Always ~ L.A. Brown, Author

Tonight was a tough night for me. Not because something bad happened, but actually, something good happened. Our Worship Pastor, Marty, encouraged us to (paraphrasing here) feel our lyrics. We can sing and mimic all we want, but to engage those who are listening, we need to allow the lyrics to seep into us and pull out our story. Paraphrasing here, mind you. Then we went back over a song that we're singing on Sunday: *My Story by Big Daddy Weave. What happened next is nothing short of extraordinary, at least to me...because I allowed the words to be my  story, and it was tough. In order for you to understand what I'm saying, I'm going to incorporate the words of the song along with my testimony. So if the members of Big Daddy Weave are reading...thank you for sharing your story so I can share mine. If I told you my story You would hear Hope that wouldn't let go In January, it was thirty three years since my life changed. No, there was no traffic accident that ma...

It has definitely been a banner year for me, well, me, Chris and Andrea. We came off of 2011 with the loss of our beloved Aussie, Draco in November to foster a soldier's dog in January. Angel was not allowed to go home to Korea (where she was born) with her family who was being relocated there because she lacked a blood titer. We fostered her for two and a half months, getting her the necessary titer and shots; getting the proper sized kennel and finally getting the necessary passage and escort to get home. We could not have done it without the help of many friends and their friends and of course, United Airlines who waived the normal fees to get her home to her soldier and family. My many thanks to Sandra, Janet, Christopher, the Air Race family, James Bear Branch Animal Hospital and Home Again for getting her back to her family. I am sure that there were so many, many more who were in the background that helped with this endeavor, God knows who you are and I'm sure that He ...

In January, it will be thirty years since my life changed. No, there was no traffic accident that marred me for life; no personal disaster such as a crippling disease; no death of a parent or loved one that so impacted me; no crime committed against me. No, a baby was born. Not your ordinary baby, but one who had gained my love and attention during the forty weeks while she was formed. During that forty weeks, I was able, through the miracle of technology, to hear her heartbeat and see her suck her thumb. My husband and I witnessed a miracle that we never thought would happen. On January 15, 1983, at 11:45 p.m., Andrea Michelle Lane was born. What we thought was a miracle quickly turned into the biggest challenge of my life and forever altered any dreams that I had for her. She was diagnosed with Down Syndrome, and sixteen hours later, the genetic markers were identified and we were hit with the confirmation. The pediatrician who was on duty came in and calmly and clinically proclaimed...

Thought I would get through tonight, Halloween, without any tricks and only treats. Yeah, not happening. All this week I've been in a flare up. Most of the time it was mild and just basically annoying, but for the last four days, its been steadily getting worse. Sunday saw my hip and leg starting to go nuts. Monday it felt like I had been at the gym for eight hours doing leg presses. Since then its gotten worse. Normally I would use Icy Hot or Bio-freeze to ease the muscle ache and draw out some of the pain. Even a hot Epsom soak would normally do the trick, but that was not to be the case, as neither of these methods are working. On to plan B. Plan B is heat and either a pain patch (which is my preferred modus operandi) or a vicodin. Since I try to stay away from the stronger stuff that is usually where I head next. Yup, you got it, it was a no-go. On to the vicodin which is usually 99.99999% effective in making it go away. **sigh** To say that I am disappointed is a gross u...

I really want to know the answer to that question. I mean, really? One would think that if you are smart enough to take something apart and put it back together without any extra parts laying around that you're at least batting out of the box some. Seriously. Sure there are times when curiosity gets the best of you, but really? I have a new hobby....going to a local auction. The house is owned by my former boss' mom and her husband. My old boss is the manager of the house. I decided that it would be fun to go a couple of times to see what they did. I hadn't been to an auction since I was a kid when I had gone to a police auction with my dad. It was there that I bid on and won a jacket, faux fur, that fit me like it was made for me. I've liked auctions since, just had never gone to a live one. The closest that I ever got to one was on EBay. So, now I go every Saturday, and I've set myself a spending limit so that I can control what I bid on. Since I take a gander t...

It's probably all my fault, really. I didn't mean it to happen, but it did. I got my child hooked on Days of Our Lives even before she was born. If I really want to place blame, though, I would push it further back to her Grandma, but I'll leave that for another day! Lol! Yes, Andrea listened to Days in-utero and then watched it after she was born. It probably was the peaceful times of her days when it was on, to be honest, I just don't remember for sure. She has watched it in earnest since she was old enough to be interested in the figures on the t.v. screen that moved and made noise, that I know for sure. It really doesn't help that her Grandma and her Nana and PopPop watched it religiously. I say watched because Grandma only watches when she's here, not so much when she's at home in Arizona. Nana still watches it, though and she and Andrea could probably talk about it, well, Andrea could, Nana would at least be able to follow what she was talking about....

...but I know I have to. Do you ever get into one of those moods that you don't want to do anything? Nothing? Zip? Zilch? Nada? Not even go to bed? I'm beat and yet the last thing I want to do right now is go to bed. This week has been, well, Heck Week....the fibromyalgia has kicked into high gear and even laying down right now is uncomfortable. I need to sleep, but the thought of laying my whole body down and being uncomfortable is just not appealing. Its bad enough that the sleeves of my shirt are driving me buggy, but to add sheets on top of that, no thank you. Widget is even inquiring as to when I am going to decide to go to bed. His buggy little eyes are so sleepy right now, I know all he wants to do is go and make biscuits on the end of my bed and hunker down for the night...instead he's got his vulture mode going...you know the one...the one where they find the highest perch near you and then they just hang their heads and stare at you. You have to love cats.... ...

..I learned in the last month. The month of May has been, hands down, the most  difficult month that I think that I've ever experienced. Being away from home and hearth, health problems on both sides of the family and that great equalizer, death being a huge part of the month...yeah, I'm over it. The month of May was pretty much the wind down for me and my travelling the world. I was able to stay with my Mom while she had her back surgery and then some of the recovery time, which was a good thing. Dad was able to keep working so he didn't lose any time at all really. I was able to help Mom out with the things that she normally would be able to do for herself, and helped her to keep track of the medication that made her a bit loopy and a tad forgetful. This was a good thing, but a little bit stressful, so bring on a flare up. Nothing to write home about and pretty much controllable with Advil, but flareup nonetheless. The end of April and the beginning of May also brough...

Ever since I got off of the plane in Okinawa I have had allergies like crazy. Zyrtec has become my best friend lately, sorry Sandy and Christopher, but you guys seriously cannot clear my sinuses no matter how hard you try. As it is, Zyrtec is having its issues clearing this up. The allergies when I got to Japan took a wickedly weird turn for me....they made me look like a wino. Peachy. I first noticed that my nose was being attacked when it felt as if my nose was going to explode right off of my face, literally. I could physically feel my nose getting bigger. I could finally say that I knew how Pinocchio felt when he told a lie, except all I was doing was feeding my granddaughter powdered donuts. I took a look in the mirror and behold, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer stared back at me....well, at least his nose did. Praise God there was Zyrtec in my purse. Thirty minutes later, again I could physically feel my nose changing and low and behold! my nose was its normal shade and shape aga...

Let me tell you, they have not been entirely pleasant, either. Of course, there is the fact that I got to go overseas for the first time in my life to Okinawa to see my newborn granddaughter and my oldest granddaughter. That was amazing and I am totally in love....until the oldest started crying uncontrollably...then it was time for Grandma to beat feet, my baby Girl and Son-in-law were awesome, but beat feet I needed to do. Of course, the fact that my visit was over with anyway really wasn't the issue, I needed to get home to get Andrea. I left Andrea in Arizona to stay with mom and dad for basically two reasons: she doesn't have her passport yet and the Kid's apartment was pretty much too small for all of us as it was, add in Andrea and tempers might have flared, especially with a newborn at the helm. Pretty much it was OK for her, she was a help to mom who was having major troubles with her back, and she got to spend time with the Grandparents. I love my folks, they wo...

What can one say after watching one of those clips? Me, personally? I would say, "Please, God, don't let me go out in anything with pit stains or sweat stains....my luck I'll end up on one of those reels". Seriously. Murphy's Law (or the fourth law of thermodynamics) states t hat "anything that can go wrong will go wrong". I suppose that it can be said that it is in and of itself, the ultimate appeal to probability. Or so they say.  Anyway, have you ever watched one of those things? They're scary! Up until recently, I thought they were contrived, you know, staged. Uh, no. There were a couple of times that I was walking behind an honest to goodness Walmart video wannabe. Frightening scene, it was. There were others, of course, but I didn't have my camera out fast enough to catch them in action.  Trust me, I've seen quite a few, and when you live in Texas, they seem to be in abundance. Unfortunately, they don't just land in Texas....t...

I had to smile this morning as I looked outside at the pouring rain. At least I don't have to water today, or tomorrow, or possibly even the next day from the looks of things. Rain now, sends me a mixed bag of emotions. Sometimes I look out and I see a big old Australian Shepherd hunkered down on the couch or some remote corner of the house refusing to step foot outside. That boy was not afraid of anything, except getting his paws wet. We were convinced that he believed for all its worth that he would melt if he were to get his paws wet. On the off chance that it was one of those days that he chose to run from us instead of allowing gravity to assume the full brunt of his 45 pounds and sticking to the floor like Velcro, when he was caught, he would be dragged to the back door and unceremoniously tossed out into the rain where he gingerly tip-toed to the least wet place in the yard, did his business and high-tailed it back to the door and the safety of the step where he balanced him...