The People of Walmart.....Uhm.....
What can one say after watching one of those clips? Me, personally? I would say, "Please, God, don't let me go out in anything with pit stains or sweat stains....my luck I'll end up on one of those reels". Seriously. Murphy's Law (or the fourth law of thermodynamics) states that "anything that can go wrong will go wrong". I suppose that it can be said that it is in and of itself, the ultimate appeal to probability. Or so they say.
Anyway, have you ever watched one of those things? They're scary! Up until recently, I thought they were contrived, you know, staged. Uh, no. There were a couple of times that I was walking behind an honest to goodness Walmart video wannabe. Frightening scene, it was. There were others, of course, but I didn't have my camera out fast enough to catch them in action.
Trust me, I've seen quite a few, and when you live in Texas, they seem to be in abundance. Unfortunately, they don't just land in Texas....they're everywhere. Like in Arizona. I have seen more crack in Walmart here that I want to start carrying a tube of caulk. Then there are the older folks who want to dress in Hannah Montana and Selena Gomez outfits, **gulp**; the "good ol' boys and the crusty old dudes that don't care how they dress.
Today, as Andrea and I were walking through Walmart, getting stuff that we had run out of while here, I spotted at least three wannabes. One was a good ol' boy with jeans that probably fit at one time; the requisite beer belly hanging over whatever the belt buckle was (couldn't tell, the belly button was hiding it); and a t-shirt that proclaimed that a bad day fishing was better than any day at work. Alrighty then!
The second one was a little old lady....four foot nothing with stark white hair that was straight as a board and down to her waist. She wore a camisole that we had seen in the girls section earlier and tight capris with Dr Scholl's Sandals. Wouldn't have been that bad until she turned around and we saw the make-up job. Uhmmm....
The third one was in tan, what looked like men's Bermuda shorts, tube socks and Puma sandals with a white t-shirt, the writing I couldn't make out because of the distance between us. She wouldn't have looked too bad if she weren't wearing the tube socks. You gotta shake your head sometimes because otherwise you get caught up in the sight of it. Its like a bad wreck on the side of the road...you just gotta look.
Now, I know, karma is a wicked one and perhaps on some dreary winter day at home when all I want is some dill pickle chunks in the middle of the night because I can't sleep, well, that's the night I get caught on film, in my pajama pants, t-shirt and Garfield slippers, so to speak. I've been at our 24 hour Walmart at three in the morning, thankfully not in my pajamas. The place is as packed as it is on a payday at five p.m., except there are only two cashiers and they don't want to be there. The lines snake all the way back to the coffee aisle if you're lucky. That, my friends, is when the real weirdos come out. These are the ones who thought they looked hot before they left to go to the club and now all they look like is sweaty. Hair is goopy or droopy, shoes are in hand...yeah, not a pretty sight. The guys, well, they look as dorky as when they went out. Punkers like Walmart at that time of night, and don't even get me started on the Goth crowd. They're in their element there. If all you want is a good old fashioned Halloween scare on June twentieth, head on down at three in the morning.
If your stomach just doesn't handle the "Ripley's Believe it or Not" crowd, then payday is a good time to people watch. Go camp on one of the benches that are strategically placed throughout the store. If you are a student of human nature, then that's where you want to write your thesis. I have to say, though, don't fall asleep on one of those benches. We had one near miss with Andrea...Beth can attest to that one. She sat on the bench while we were visiting the ladies room and when we had come out, she was laying down on the bench. We didn't think anything of it until we identified her in one of the collages. Thankfully she wasn't there long enough for the person who took the shot to get that all important close up. It could have been the start of....well, I don't know, but it could have been the start of something. I just know that Sigmund Freud would have a field day with that place.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Beware of Walmart. I mean, don't stop shopping there if Wally World is your favorite place...I kind of like it there and its nice that they are open if you need a chocolate fix and everyplace and their Aunt is closed. However, if you do go, just make sure that what you're wearing isn't a neon sign for someone to use their camera phone to post your fashion sense to You Tube. Just saying.......
Have an awesome, non-Walmart People-photo week! Lol!
Anyway, have you ever watched one of those things? They're scary! Up until recently, I thought they were contrived, you know, staged. Uh, no. There were a couple of times that I was walking behind an honest to goodness Walmart video wannabe. Frightening scene, it was. There were others, of course, but I didn't have my camera out fast enough to catch them in action.
Trust me, I've seen quite a few, and when you live in Texas, they seem to be in abundance. Unfortunately, they don't just land in Texas....they're everywhere. Like in Arizona. I have seen more crack in Walmart here that I want to start carrying a tube of caulk. Then there are the older folks who want to dress in Hannah Montana and Selena Gomez outfits, **gulp**; the "good ol' boys and the crusty old dudes that don't care how they dress.Today, as Andrea and I were walking through Walmart, getting stuff that we had run out of while here, I spotted at least three wannabes. One was a good ol' boy with jeans that probably fit at one time; the requisite beer belly hanging over whatever the belt buckle was (couldn't tell, the belly button was hiding it); and a t-shirt that proclaimed that a bad day fishing was better than any day at work. Alrighty then!
The second one was a little old lady....four foot nothing with stark white hair that was straight as a board and down to her waist. She wore a camisole that we had seen in the girls section earlier and tight capris with Dr Scholl's Sandals. Wouldn't have been that bad until she turned around and we saw the make-up job. Uhmmm....
The third one was in tan, what looked like men's Bermuda shorts, tube socks and Puma sandals with a white t-shirt, the writing I couldn't make out because of the distance between us. She wouldn't have looked too bad if she weren't wearing the tube socks. You gotta shake your head sometimes because otherwise you get caught up in the sight of it. Its like a bad wreck on the side of the road...you just gotta look.
Now, I know, karma is a wicked one and perhaps on some dreary winter day at home when all I want is some dill pickle chunks in the middle of the night because I can't sleep, well, that's the night I get caught on film, in my pajama pants, t-shirt and Garfield slippers, so to speak. I've been at our 24 hour Walmart at three in the morning, thankfully not in my pajamas. The place is as packed as it is on a payday at five p.m., except there are only two cashiers and they don't want to be there. The lines snake all the way back to the coffee aisle if you're lucky. That, my friends, is when the real weirdos come out. These are the ones who thought they looked hot before they left to go to the club and now all they look like is sweaty. Hair is goopy or droopy, shoes are in hand...yeah, not a pretty sight. The guys, well, they look as dorky as when they went out. Punkers like Walmart at that time of night, and don't even get me started on the Goth crowd. They're in their element there. If all you want is a good old fashioned Halloween scare on June twentieth, head on down at three in the morning.
If your stomach just doesn't handle the "Ripley's Believe it or Not" crowd, then payday is a good time to people watch. Go camp on one of the benches that are strategically placed throughout the store. If you are a student of human nature, then that's where you want to write your thesis. I have to say, though, don't fall asleep on one of those benches. We had one near miss with Andrea...Beth can attest to that one. She sat on the bench while we were visiting the ladies room and when we had come out, she was laying down on the bench. We didn't think anything of it until we identified her in one of the collages. Thankfully she wasn't there long enough for the person who took the shot to get that all important close up. It could have been the start of....well, I don't know, but it could have been the start of something. I just know that Sigmund Freud would have a field day with that place.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Beware of Walmart. I mean, don't stop shopping there if Wally World is your favorite place...I kind of like it there and its nice that they are open if you need a chocolate fix and everyplace and their Aunt is closed. However, if you do go, just make sure that what you're wearing isn't a neon sign for someone to use their camera phone to post your fashion sense to You Tube. Just saying.......
Have an awesome, non-Walmart People-photo week! Lol!
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