Loving the dead who are still living
Lol! I looked at that title and had to laugh out loud. No, its not about zombies, although with the season of the (pretend) zombies coming upon us, I might keep that in mind.
No, this is about a relative who has separated themselves from those who love them the most, their families. It occurred to me this morning in the shower (I do my best thinking in there! Who doesn't?), that Christ touched on this very subject. In Luke 14:25-27 Jesus says, "Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.""
That passage has always interested me, mostly because of the word hate. That's such a strong word and yet the meaning in this passage is not the common meaning of the word. In this passage, Christ is setting the bar for us. If we can't leave behind those whom we love to the ends of the Earth, then how can we follow the One who will lead us to Eternity?
I pulled up Matthew Henry's commentary on the passage and here's what he says: They must be willing to quit that which was very dear, and therefore must come to him thoroughly weaned from all their creature-comforts, and dead to them, so as cheerfully to part with them rather than quit their interest in Christ (emphasis mine), Luke 14:26.
A man cannot be Christ’s disciple but he must hate father, and mother, and his own life. He is not sincere, he will be constant and persevering, unless he love Christ better than any thing in this world, and be willing to part with that which he may and must leave, either as a sacrifice, when Christ may be glorified by our parting with it (so the martyrs, who loved not their lives to death), or as a temptation, when by our parting with it we are put into a better capacity of serving Christ. Thus Abraham parted with his own country, and Moses with Pharaoh’s court.
Mention is not made here of houses and lands; philosophy will teach a man to look upon these with contempt; but Christianity carries it higher. [1.] Every good man loves his relations; and yet, if he be a disciple of Christ, he must comparatively hate them, must love them less than Christ, as Leah is said to be hated when Rachel was better loved. Not that their persons must be in any degree hated, but our comfort and satisfaction in them must be lost and swallowed up in our love to Christ, as Levi’s was, when he said to his father, I have not seen him, Deut. 33:9.
When our duty to our parents comes in competition with our evident duty to Christ, we must give Christ the preference. If we must either deny Christ or be banished from our families and relations (as many of the primitive Christians were), we must rather lose their society than his favour. [2.] Every man loves his own life, no man ever yet hated it; and we cannot be Christ’s disciples if we do not love him better than our own lives, so as rather to have our lives embittered by cruel bondage, nay, and taken away by cruel deaths, than to dishonour Christ, or depart from any of his truths and ways.
Okay, I know that's a mouthful and a little hard to digest, but in light of the thoughts that came to mind this morning, it makes perfect sense. You see, I have a relative who has distanced themselves from the family. No one but they know the real reason why, although I suspect that faith in Christ, or lack thereof, has a lot to do with it. They are not believers and are choosing to walk away. I'm sure there are many of you out there who have had a loved one walk away from their families...whether it be because of religion, politics or worst case scenario, abuse which, in my humble opinion is the best option for them for survival. Whatever reason they have walked away from you, know that it is their decision. You can not make their choices for them, no matter how hard you try, because after all, they have been given the gift of free will just like you have. As much as it may hurt to watch, even from a distance, you can't make them come back, it has to be of their own accord.
If the reason they've left is because of religion, then the verse above applies, I believe. Let me explain. If you would do anything, including taking a bullet for this person or persons, this is good in the sense it shows how much they are loved...(not so good for you if you actually take the bullet) but if it interferes with your walk with Christ, then you will have to let them go. To be honest with you, I have trouble reconciling that one. My hackles raise because I would take down anyone, or at least put up a decent fight to defend anyone in my family, anyone. However, when it comes to following Christ, we have to have a different mindset. Jesus basically said that if we couldn't leave behind that which we love on this earth, how can we possibly follow the One who is more than this world? If your loved one is so bitter and hateful to Christ, then how can we possibly stay joined with them without compromising our walk with Christ? It is indeed a fine line that we as Christians walk on a daily basis, an even finer one when it comes to our families.
Friends, I don't know if this has made any sense at all to anyone but myself...I'm hoping that somehow it has helped someone out there reconcile themselves to the fact that this person has removed themselves from your life. I'm hoping that with all of the hurt that is banging around in your heart, that Jesus is the buffer and is holding you in His perfect peace. Trust me, I know the hurt, the what-ifs, the whys that are bouncing around in your mind. It hurts, and it hurts bad. Part of you wants to strike out and make them hurt as much as you do, but hopefully you are restrained because of your faith. The other part of you is crying out and begging God to help you understand. Keep praying, my friend, the pain eases. You may not have an answer in this lifetime and the pain and sorrow may ease only a little, but rest in the fact that God is in total control of the situation. Even though we may not be able to see the outcome, rest assured that God is already at the end of the problem and He will help you through it.
Right now, in this situation, all you have is faith that God is in control. Leave it at His feet, walk away and don't go back to pick it up, to handle it on your own. He can and will handle it, but only if you let Him. Maybe not the way that you hope, or envision, but He will handle it. If the rift is because of other things; words spoken harshly; a wrong that has been allowed to sit and fester...whatever the situation, if it is within you to heal the rift, to humbly come and ask forgiveness, then do it. Don't let your loved one slip from this life without knowing that they are loved. Don't let petty differences, money, property, personality conflicts or words spoken in anger put a chasm between you. Fix it. Swallow your pride and fix it if you can. I know that it will heal the hole in your heart a whole lot faster.
Be well, my friends. Be blessed.
No, this is about a relative who has separated themselves from those who love them the most, their families. It occurred to me this morning in the shower (I do my best thinking in there! Who doesn't?), that Christ touched on this very subject. In Luke 14:25-27 Jesus says, "Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.""
That passage has always interested me, mostly because of the word hate. That's such a strong word and yet the meaning in this passage is not the common meaning of the word. In this passage, Christ is setting the bar for us. If we can't leave behind those whom we love to the ends of the Earth, then how can we follow the One who will lead us to Eternity?
I pulled up Matthew Henry's commentary on the passage and here's what he says: They must be willing to quit that which was very dear, and therefore must come to him thoroughly weaned from all their creature-comforts, and dead to them, so as cheerfully to part with them rather than quit their interest in Christ (emphasis mine), Luke 14:26.
A man cannot be Christ’s disciple but he must hate father, and mother, and his own life. He is not sincere, he will be constant and persevering, unless he love Christ better than any thing in this world, and be willing to part with that which he may and must leave, either as a sacrifice, when Christ may be glorified by our parting with it (so the martyrs, who loved not their lives to death), or as a temptation, when by our parting with it we are put into a better capacity of serving Christ. Thus Abraham parted with his own country, and Moses with Pharaoh’s court.
Mention is not made here of houses and lands; philosophy will teach a man to look upon these with contempt; but Christianity carries it higher. [1.] Every good man loves his relations; and yet, if he be a disciple of Christ, he must comparatively hate them, must love them less than Christ, as Leah is said to be hated when Rachel was better loved. Not that their persons must be in any degree hated, but our comfort and satisfaction in them must be lost and swallowed up in our love to Christ, as Levi’s was, when he said to his father, I have not seen him, Deut. 33:9.
When our duty to our parents comes in competition with our evident duty to Christ, we must give Christ the preference. If we must either deny Christ or be banished from our families and relations (as many of the primitive Christians were), we must rather lose their society than his favour. [2.] Every man loves his own life, no man ever yet hated it; and we cannot be Christ’s disciples if we do not love him better than our own lives, so as rather to have our lives embittered by cruel bondage, nay, and taken away by cruel deaths, than to dishonour Christ, or depart from any of his truths and ways.
Okay, I know that's a mouthful and a little hard to digest, but in light of the thoughts that came to mind this morning, it makes perfect sense. You see, I have a relative who has distanced themselves from the family. No one but they know the real reason why, although I suspect that faith in Christ, or lack thereof, has a lot to do with it. They are not believers and are choosing to walk away. I'm sure there are many of you out there who have had a loved one walk away from their families...whether it be because of religion, politics or worst case scenario, abuse which, in my humble opinion is the best option for them for survival. Whatever reason they have walked away from you, know that it is their decision. You can not make their choices for them, no matter how hard you try, because after all, they have been given the gift of free will just like you have. As much as it may hurt to watch, even from a distance, you can't make them come back, it has to be of their own accord.
If the reason they've left is because of religion, then the verse above applies, I believe. Let me explain. If you would do anything, including taking a bullet for this person or persons, this is good in the sense it shows how much they are loved...(not so good for you if you actually take the bullet) but if it interferes with your walk with Christ, then you will have to let them go. To be honest with you, I have trouble reconciling that one. My hackles raise because I would take down anyone, or at least put up a decent fight to defend anyone in my family, anyone. However, when it comes to following Christ, we have to have a different mindset. Jesus basically said that if we couldn't leave behind that which we love on this earth, how can we possibly follow the One who is more than this world? If your loved one is so bitter and hateful to Christ, then how can we possibly stay joined with them without compromising our walk with Christ? It is indeed a fine line that we as Christians walk on a daily basis, an even finer one when it comes to our families.
Friends, I don't know if this has made any sense at all to anyone but myself...I'm hoping that somehow it has helped someone out there reconcile themselves to the fact that this person has removed themselves from your life. I'm hoping that with all of the hurt that is banging around in your heart, that Jesus is the buffer and is holding you in His perfect peace. Trust me, I know the hurt, the what-ifs, the whys that are bouncing around in your mind. It hurts, and it hurts bad. Part of you wants to strike out and make them hurt as much as you do, but hopefully you are restrained because of your faith. The other part of you is crying out and begging God to help you understand. Keep praying, my friend, the pain eases. You may not have an answer in this lifetime and the pain and sorrow may ease only a little, but rest in the fact that God is in total control of the situation. Even though we may not be able to see the outcome, rest assured that God is already at the end of the problem and He will help you through it.
Right now, in this situation, all you have is faith that God is in control. Leave it at His feet, walk away and don't go back to pick it up, to handle it on your own. He can and will handle it, but only if you let Him. Maybe not the way that you hope, or envision, but He will handle it. If the rift is because of other things; words spoken harshly; a wrong that has been allowed to sit and fester...whatever the situation, if it is within you to heal the rift, to humbly come and ask forgiveness, then do it. Don't let your loved one slip from this life without knowing that they are loved. Don't let petty differences, money, property, personality conflicts or words spoken in anger put a chasm between you. Fix it. Swallow your pride and fix it if you can. I know that it will heal the hole in your heart a whole lot faster.
Be well, my friends. Be blessed.
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