If it's broke, then fix it...
When I was growing up, there was this thing...if something broke, you fixed it. It didn't matter if it was a clock, a toy, an appliance or what, if it broke, you fixed it, or at least tried to. The same held true for relationships...if there was a problem (broke), you did your best to fix it.
As the sixties progressed into the seventies and so on and so forth, things became more disposable. There were paper plates and disposable utensils. A boon to those who hated doing dishes. Things like alarm clocks were cheaper to replace than to fix, although my little brother...man! That kid could take a clock apart, put it back together and it ran like brand new. He was, and still is, a whiz.
Diapers became disposable, appliances were priced to replace instead of fix...it seems as if things are produced to break so that when it comes time to fix it, the cost is prohibitive. So you replace. The same holds true for relationships.
I have to say, there were a few times that I've been guilty of discarding a relationship instead of working to fix what was broken. My previous marriage, was not the case, I wanted to fix it, but you have to have two people that want to fix it, one just won't do.
The Bible, and our marriage vows both charge couples to endure through good times and bad, good health and bad health, through riches and poverty until death do they part. The problem is, relationships are disposable. With the age of Aquarius came "free love" and birth control and abortion. While I'm not against birth control, abortion is a different matter and a different blog altogether (one of these days I'll do a post on it, but not now, so if you plan on commenting on this one sentence, please refrain until I do that blog. Please and thank you). As relationships came and went, lawyers saw the opportunity to line their pockets more as divorce became more and more common, not only in Nevada, but throughout the Country. No-fault divorces became common and affordable, thus rendering marriages as disposable as diapers.
Fast forward to today. Divorce is rampant not only in the common realm but in the Church's realm as well. In fact, I believe the divorce rate among Christians is higher than those not in Church. This is troublesome. What ever happened to working together to fix the problem? There are counselors who are ready and waiting to help you find the problem and work on fixing it. There are pastors, preachers and rabbis who are willing to help you through. Can't afford it? Work on it on your own. Now, I'm not advocating staying in an abusive relationship if you are in danger, that again, is a different post altogether, but seriously...you can work together to work out finances, communication, and other differences. Seriously, isn't that why you fell in love in the first place? She was different than other women you dated. She stole your heart. He was not the same as other guys who were looking for one thing. He treated you like a princess. You loved the quirkiness the other person displayed, you loved their unique-ness...what happened?
I can't tell you that every marriage can be saved by working to fix it. Sometimes it's so broken that it can't be fixed, then you do what you a have to do, but I'm asking that you try. Just because you're bored, you've become roommates instead of lovers, you've let everyday life invade your bubble, causing you to focus on the troubles of the world instead of leaving them on the other side of the door and focusing on him or her and your family, doesn't mean its hopeless. Try. Work on it. Go to counselling. Remember when you were courting, how each day was new to you. How the sparkle in his eye gave you goosebumps. How her smile just melted you. Remember the things that drew you to each other and use those for your base. If you belong to a church, ask if there are times you can get in to counsel with your pastor, priest, cleric or rabbi. Sometimes these services are free for members. Just try. If in the end you can't resolve your differences, then at least you tried.
Now, as an end note: No, this isn't for one person in particular, but many. So many people I know have so many troubles in their relationships that they are willing to give it up rather than work on it. I hate to see something that grew in love, wither and die because they've became bored, because finances came between them or because something "better" came along. I'm encouraging you, if this applies...please. Work on your relationship. Marriage isn't disposable. It wasn't made that way. Remember your vows..."for richer for poorer. In sickness and in health. In good times and bad times, until death do you part."
I love each and every one of you...family, friends and my readers. I realize this has been a bit of a rant, but I hope that maybe, just maybe it has caused someone to want to work to save their relationship instead of discarding it.
As the sixties progressed into the seventies and so on and so forth, things became more disposable. There were paper plates and disposable utensils. A boon to those who hated doing dishes. Things like alarm clocks were cheaper to replace than to fix, although my little brother...man! That kid could take a clock apart, put it back together and it ran like brand new. He was, and still is, a whiz.
Diapers became disposable, appliances were priced to replace instead of fix...it seems as if things are produced to break so that when it comes time to fix it, the cost is prohibitive. So you replace. The same holds true for relationships.
I have to say, there were a few times that I've been guilty of discarding a relationship instead of working to fix what was broken. My previous marriage, was not the case, I wanted to fix it, but you have to have two people that want to fix it, one just won't do.
The Bible, and our marriage vows both charge couples to endure through good times and bad, good health and bad health, through riches and poverty until death do they part. The problem is, relationships are disposable. With the age of Aquarius came "free love" and birth control and abortion. While I'm not against birth control, abortion is a different matter and a different blog altogether (one of these days I'll do a post on it, but not now, so if you plan on commenting on this one sentence, please refrain until I do that blog. Please and thank you). As relationships came and went, lawyers saw the opportunity to line their pockets more as divorce became more and more common, not only in Nevada, but throughout the Country. No-fault divorces became common and affordable, thus rendering marriages as disposable as diapers.
Fast forward to today. Divorce is rampant not only in the common realm but in the Church's realm as well. In fact, I believe the divorce rate among Christians is higher than those not in Church. This is troublesome. What ever happened to working together to fix the problem? There are counselors who are ready and waiting to help you find the problem and work on fixing it. There are pastors, preachers and rabbis who are willing to help you through. Can't afford it? Work on it on your own. Now, I'm not advocating staying in an abusive relationship if you are in danger, that again, is a different post altogether, but seriously...you can work together to work out finances, communication, and other differences. Seriously, isn't that why you fell in love in the first place? She was different than other women you dated. She stole your heart. He was not the same as other guys who were looking for one thing. He treated you like a princess. You loved the quirkiness the other person displayed, you loved their unique-ness...what happened?
I can't tell you that every marriage can be saved by working to fix it. Sometimes it's so broken that it can't be fixed, then you do what you a have to do, but I'm asking that you try. Just because you're bored, you've become roommates instead of lovers, you've let everyday life invade your bubble, causing you to focus on the troubles of the world instead of leaving them on the other side of the door and focusing on him or her and your family, doesn't mean its hopeless. Try. Work on it. Go to counselling. Remember when you were courting, how each day was new to you. How the sparkle in his eye gave you goosebumps. How her smile just melted you. Remember the things that drew you to each other and use those for your base. If you belong to a church, ask if there are times you can get in to counsel with your pastor, priest, cleric or rabbi. Sometimes these services are free for members. Just try. If in the end you can't resolve your differences, then at least you tried.
Now, as an end note: No, this isn't for one person in particular, but many. So many people I know have so many troubles in their relationships that they are willing to give it up rather than work on it. I hate to see something that grew in love, wither and die because they've became bored, because finances came between them or because something "better" came along. I'm encouraging you, if this applies...please. Work on your relationship. Marriage isn't disposable. It wasn't made that way. Remember your vows..."for richer for poorer. In sickness and in health. In good times and bad times, until death do you part."
I love each and every one of you...family, friends and my readers. I realize this has been a bit of a rant, but I hope that maybe, just maybe it has caused someone to want to work to save their relationship instead of discarding it.
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