I seem to keep forgetting
...that fibro fog is responsible for a lot of things that go on with me lately. I walk into a room and not only do I forget what I went in there for, sometimes I'm disoriented enough to wonder, even for a nano-second what room I'm in. That's happened a couple of times.
I've also seemed to have forgotten that depression is a constant companion. Sometimes it stays way in the background, but other times, like today, it is sitting in my hip pocket, poking me and letting me know that I've been kind of useless lately. That tends to work on my last nerve and so when Chatty Cathy is released, which most of the time I can tune out except for the necessary phrases and words, I have the ability to go nuclear. That in return brings out the tears, puppy dog eyes and/or the temper of the Mouse who was just being herself. Of course, this works on the depression more by making me feel like a bit of bug spittle. **sigh**
I can't turn the bugger off, either. It just sits there and niggles at me pointing out annoyance after annoyance, then points out that I wasn't being nice/fair, yadda, yadda. I could do without this one, let me tell you. Couple that up with the aches and pains that go along with the cold weather and I'm a real peach to be around.....not.
Don't get me wrong, I love my girl, my husband, my animals and I love the cold weather, but the weather doesn't like me lately and the aforementioned well, even someone you love drives you batty insane every once in a while.
So, how am I to combat it? I've tried to do some homeopathic stuff....hot baths with lavender, peppermint or eucalyptus. The lavender seems to do the best job, but it puts me to sleep. There's been a couple of times that I've nodded off in the tub only to wake up to cold water. I sometimes will stay up late after everyone has gone to bed so that I could just enjoy the quiet and I will read, usually my Bible, sometimes a novel that I've been trying to get through, or like last night, I just watched the fire die down. I've been trying to focus on something or someone that makes me smile. My daughter in Okinawa. My Mouse here when she opened up the box containing the tablet at Christmas. My husband's gift to me this Christmas. My Granddaughters. My animals, the Christmas Story......anything that will force me to take my thoughts off of the side of the road and refocus them where they belong.
This is not always as easy a task as it was last night. Tonight, for instance may take a little more. I'm thinking chocolate, but not having any in the house, I'm going to have to find some other way to focus. This blog has a tendency to make me focus on what is good and pure in my life. My faith has brought me through some of the roughest and darkest periods of my life, and I have to remind myself of that from time to time. Faith in God has propelled me to places that I would never have seen myself going; pushing through obstacles that I would otherwise never have had the courage to engage. It has lifted me up when I was in some pretty scary places and given me comfort when I thought that I was failing miserably, and with this blog, I have been encouraged by you, my readers. Most of you that have commented I know, some I do not, but the comments have always been encouraging or at the very least, enlightening.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let the fibro get you down. Depression is going to happen with this, this....whatever it is, and if we give in to the depression then it will only get worse. Try to focus on what is good and pure and simple in your life. Take a hot bath. Sit in front of the fire. Go outside and look at the stars and try to find the Big and Little Dippers. Watch a kitten play. Listen to good music, or read a good book. Try to focus on something other than what is unnerving you at the moment and then take a deep breath and try to look at the situation with a different focus, a different set of eyes. Do something that historically makes you relax and let that relaxation take you into sleep if you must (try not to go to sleep in the tub. Lol!), but don't let it progress to the point that you go postal on someone. I did that today with Andrea and I felt horrible afterwards...so much that I apologised. Then she repeated the action and I had to take a deep breath so that I wouldn't go ballistic again. I can't tell you that this is an hundred percent solution to the depression, but it's a start, and by all means let your doctor know about it, its part of this syndrome or what ever they call this and its good to let the doc know what's going on, at what frequency and the steps you take to combat it. I find that working with my doctor helps me on occasion to see the need to alter some aspects of what I do to refocus, to help myself come out of the depression faster and more efficiently.
Thank you, everyone for a good year; for reading my rants, my follies, my fears, my sorrows, my life. Thank you for sharing, for commenting, for praying, but most especially I thank God that He has given me this audience, you, and I hope that in some small way I may have somehow helped you or encouraged you along the way.
As we go into the New Year, my wish for you is a happy, healthy, stress-free, and flare-free year!
I've also seemed to have forgotten that depression is a constant companion. Sometimes it stays way in the background, but other times, like today, it is sitting in my hip pocket, poking me and letting me know that I've been kind of useless lately. That tends to work on my last nerve and so when Chatty Cathy is released, which most of the time I can tune out except for the necessary phrases and words, I have the ability to go nuclear. That in return brings out the tears, puppy dog eyes and/or the temper of the Mouse who was just being herself. Of course, this works on the depression more by making me feel like a bit of bug spittle. **sigh**
I can't turn the bugger off, either. It just sits there and niggles at me pointing out annoyance after annoyance, then points out that I wasn't being nice/fair, yadda, yadda. I could do without this one, let me tell you. Couple that up with the aches and pains that go along with the cold weather and I'm a real peach to be around.....not.
Don't get me wrong, I love my girl, my husband, my animals and I love the cold weather, but the weather doesn't like me lately and the aforementioned well, even someone you love drives you batty insane every once in a while.
So, how am I to combat it? I've tried to do some homeopathic stuff....hot baths with lavender, peppermint or eucalyptus. The lavender seems to do the best job, but it puts me to sleep. There's been a couple of times that I've nodded off in the tub only to wake up to cold water. I sometimes will stay up late after everyone has gone to bed so that I could just enjoy the quiet and I will read, usually my Bible, sometimes a novel that I've been trying to get through, or like last night, I just watched the fire die down. I've been trying to focus on something or someone that makes me smile. My daughter in Okinawa. My Mouse here when she opened up the box containing the tablet at Christmas. My husband's gift to me this Christmas. My Granddaughters. My animals, the Christmas Story......anything that will force me to take my thoughts off of the side of the road and refocus them where they belong.
This is not always as easy a task as it was last night. Tonight, for instance may take a little more. I'm thinking chocolate, but not having any in the house, I'm going to have to find some other way to focus. This blog has a tendency to make me focus on what is good and pure in my life. My faith has brought me through some of the roughest and darkest periods of my life, and I have to remind myself of that from time to time. Faith in God has propelled me to places that I would never have seen myself going; pushing through obstacles that I would otherwise never have had the courage to engage. It has lifted me up when I was in some pretty scary places and given me comfort when I thought that I was failing miserably, and with this blog, I have been encouraged by you, my readers. Most of you that have commented I know, some I do not, but the comments have always been encouraging or at the very least, enlightening.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let the fibro get you down. Depression is going to happen with this, this....whatever it is, and if we give in to the depression then it will only get worse. Try to focus on what is good and pure and simple in your life. Take a hot bath. Sit in front of the fire. Go outside and look at the stars and try to find the Big and Little Dippers. Watch a kitten play. Listen to good music, or read a good book. Try to focus on something other than what is unnerving you at the moment and then take a deep breath and try to look at the situation with a different focus, a different set of eyes. Do something that historically makes you relax and let that relaxation take you into sleep if you must (try not to go to sleep in the tub. Lol!), but don't let it progress to the point that you go postal on someone. I did that today with Andrea and I felt horrible afterwards...so much that I apologised. Then she repeated the action and I had to take a deep breath so that I wouldn't go ballistic again. I can't tell you that this is an hundred percent solution to the depression, but it's a start, and by all means let your doctor know about it, its part of this syndrome or what ever they call this and its good to let the doc know what's going on, at what frequency and the steps you take to combat it. I find that working with my doctor helps me on occasion to see the need to alter some aspects of what I do to refocus, to help myself come out of the depression faster and more efficiently.
Thank you, everyone for a good year; for reading my rants, my follies, my fears, my sorrows, my life. Thank you for sharing, for commenting, for praying, but most especially I thank God that He has given me this audience, you, and I hope that in some small way I may have somehow helped you or encouraged you along the way.
As we go into the New Year, my wish for you is a happy, healthy, stress-free, and flare-free year!
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