**sigh** "Eeyore" came to visit this week
Eeyore is what I have called my down days for quite a while now. You know how he is, always in a gloomy mood, a little black rain cloud following him around. Well, Eeyore came around about Wednesday, really was gloomy on Thursday and is still hanging around, but he's been pretty quiet for the most part. Let's get this straight; I don't like being in the dumps. I hate depression. When I'm in this phase, it usually accompanies a nasty flare-up and I'm so weepy and short tempered that it scares Mouse. Thursday, I had to cry in the shower so I wouldn't alarm her and I was in there for a good hour. The water had gotten cold by then and quite honestly I wasn't finished, but I was better enough to function.
I don't know how others function with this part of the fibro, to me its debilitating. I can't function beyond the basics. I'm short tempered, weepy, in short, I'm a mess.
The only way that I got through Thursday without curling up in a corner was to call out to Jehovah-Rapha for help to function. I know to some of you folks that this is a foreign thing, but for me, faith in God Almighty and His healing hands is my life-blood. There are so many times that He has healed me, He has held me up, He has provided...enough times that this is a no-brainer for me anymore, it's second nature to call out to the One who provides all I need.
Moving past Thursday and on to Friday, the straight-up depression had lessened but the flare up had not. I was achy, cranky and still gloomy. I did not want to do anything, go anywhere or talk to anyone. This being real life, I pushed through. Saturday I had to prepare for the concession stand and for the most part was moving with pretty decent ease. Saturday even though the gloomies were part of my day, I determined that it would not get the best of me. While at the auction, everything started to "rust" (I felt like the Tin Man when he started to rust and couldn't find the oil can), and was in pure misery by the time I got home. Now understand that this is a hobby for me of sorts...I love to cook and have people enjoy my cooking, and in the process I have gotten some pretty cool buys at the auction. I love the interaction that I get with folks, especially if my week had been tough like last week was. I woke up after church had ended on Sunday and then questioned if it was all worth it. In short, Eeyore was still hanging around.
Today, I am determined that Eeyore should go back to the Hundred Acre Woods where he's charming and not driving me nuts. Even though I have had a couple of frustrating things come along today, I am determined not to let it get me down. Today I am going to check out mats to see if that will help me not be in such pain after Saturday nights are done. Today I have accomplished getting some questions about medical stuff answered. Today I am watching my crazy puppy point at butterflies and get frustrated with a squirrel that is teasing her. Today is going to be a good day and I refuse to allow depression to be a part of it. Today I have the Hand of the One to sustains me holding me up, and I have my wonderful Hubby watching out for me to make sure that my day is a good one. I have to smile and wonder what I did right that God allowed Chris to be in my life...he has helped me through some pretty scary stuff and still loves me. That's pretty cool and all of that helps me to focus enough to overcome the gloomies.
I don't know how others function with this part of the fibro, to me its debilitating. I can't function beyond the basics. I'm short tempered, weepy, in short, I'm a mess.
The only way that I got through Thursday without curling up in a corner was to call out to Jehovah-Rapha for help to function. I know to some of you folks that this is a foreign thing, but for me, faith in God Almighty and His healing hands is my life-blood. There are so many times that He has healed me, He has held me up, He has provided...enough times that this is a no-brainer for me anymore, it's second nature to call out to the One who provides all I need.
Moving past Thursday and on to Friday, the straight-up depression had lessened but the flare up had not. I was achy, cranky and still gloomy. I did not want to do anything, go anywhere or talk to anyone. This being real life, I pushed through. Saturday I had to prepare for the concession stand and for the most part was moving with pretty decent ease. Saturday even though the gloomies were part of my day, I determined that it would not get the best of me. While at the auction, everything started to "rust" (I felt like the Tin Man when he started to rust and couldn't find the oil can), and was in pure misery by the time I got home. Now understand that this is a hobby for me of sorts...I love to cook and have people enjoy my cooking, and in the process I have gotten some pretty cool buys at the auction. I love the interaction that I get with folks, especially if my week had been tough like last week was. I woke up after church had ended on Sunday and then questioned if it was all worth it. In short, Eeyore was still hanging around.
Today, I am determined that Eeyore should go back to the Hundred Acre Woods where he's charming and not driving me nuts. Even though I have had a couple of frustrating things come along today, I am determined not to let it get me down. Today I am going to check out mats to see if that will help me not be in such pain after Saturday nights are done. Today I have accomplished getting some questions about medical stuff answered. Today I am watching my crazy puppy point at butterflies and get frustrated with a squirrel that is teasing her. Today is going to be a good day and I refuse to allow depression to be a part of it. Today I have the Hand of the One to sustains me holding me up, and I have my wonderful Hubby watching out for me to make sure that my day is a good one. I have to smile and wonder what I did right that God allowed Chris to be in my life...he has helped me through some pretty scary stuff and still loves me. That's pretty cool and all of that helps me to focus enough to overcome the gloomies.
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