My heart is broken.....
...and at the same time, I'm wondering why some things happen. You see, someone who I know is very angry at someone that I love. What happened, to the best of my knowledge, was a judgement call. I don't know. All I know is that one or both of the individuals involved will have to deal with the hurt, the misjudgment and the consequences to that one action. As a Christian and as one who has been on the other end of that particular judgement call at least twice in my life, I can understand both ends of the problem. It doesn't make it right, but at the same time, it doesn't make it wrong.
In my honest opinion, when someone makes a judgement call that affects someone else, they are taking that chance that their actions can come back to haunt them, especially if the judgement call is faulty. Perhaps this was one of those times, I don't know, I wasn't there. Even if the call wasn't faulty, then there is the ripple effect that trickles down to those whose lives are involved with the person accused, disrupting lives. Personally, I'm not sure I could have done that myself. I guess one would call me a coward for saying that, but if I am not privy to a situation and only guess at a misstep, then that makes me a false accuser, which I try hard not to be. If, however, I am privy to a certain situation, then the question begs, do I make that judgement call and risk all hades blowing loose, possibly saving a life, or do I wait and let someone else handle the dirty work. I suppose in a sense that, being on the other end of the judgement stick makes one a pacifist in the worst way. You know what's right, but you know what's on the receiving end. Either way it stinks.
The only thing that I could give the person that brought this to my attention in the way of advice is, forgive. Yeah, I know, cliche', but having had my fair share of issues on both ends, I found that regardless of the other person's reaction to my forgiveness of their actions, my conscience is clear and by the same token, I am clear of the bitterness and hate that tends to fester like an infected wound. Really, I suppose that you can categorize bitterness and hate in that category, because what it does to a person is creates a black hole that can't be filled, even by revenge. The only way to fill it is with forgiveness. Even when we don't want to. Trust me, I tried the revenge road...didn't work out worth a hill of beans for me...all it did was make me hate the person more. The day that I decided to forgive that person, I felt 300 pounds lighter and better than I had in over 25 years. Yeah, I held that grudge that long. Me, a Christian holding a grudge. It happens and by the grace of God go I...I don't doubt that someone else may be holding a grudge against me that they haven't forgiven. It isn't for the person being forgiven, its for the person who was wronged. If you can forgive the person who wronged you in the first place, then you are free to live your life without the burden of condemnation, bitterness and hate. It poisons the soul and makes an otherwise beautiful personality ugly. It doesn't matter whether or not they accept your forgiveness, that is up to them and God...you've done your part and now you can move on.
I suppose at this juncture one must wonder what about the trust issue that comes with a judgement call? That is up to the individual who forgave and God. You can't move forward on your own without help, He's there to help you through this if you would only ask. Personally, I still have issues with trust. I have difficulties dealing with female friendships because of one incident and with others in general when it comes to the other incident. The trust issue will always be a bit of a sticking point with me, but I'm working on it with God's help.
If you are in a situation that involves a judgement call on someone else's part, take it to God, let Him help you in the forgiveness department so that you can move forward, unburdened by hate, bitterness and contempt. Its not worth poisoning current or future relationships.
In my honest opinion, when someone makes a judgement call that affects someone else, they are taking that chance that their actions can come back to haunt them, especially if the judgement call is faulty. Perhaps this was one of those times, I don't know, I wasn't there. Even if the call wasn't faulty, then there is the ripple effect that trickles down to those whose lives are involved with the person accused, disrupting lives. Personally, I'm not sure I could have done that myself. I guess one would call me a coward for saying that, but if I am not privy to a situation and only guess at a misstep, then that makes me a false accuser, which I try hard not to be. If, however, I am privy to a certain situation, then the question begs, do I make that judgement call and risk all hades blowing loose, possibly saving a life, or do I wait and let someone else handle the dirty work. I suppose in a sense that, being on the other end of the judgement stick makes one a pacifist in the worst way. You know what's right, but you know what's on the receiving end. Either way it stinks.
The only thing that I could give the person that brought this to my attention in the way of advice is, forgive. Yeah, I know, cliche', but having had my fair share of issues on both ends, I found that regardless of the other person's reaction to my forgiveness of their actions, my conscience is clear and by the same token, I am clear of the bitterness and hate that tends to fester like an infected wound. Really, I suppose that you can categorize bitterness and hate in that category, because what it does to a person is creates a black hole that can't be filled, even by revenge. The only way to fill it is with forgiveness. Even when we don't want to. Trust me, I tried the revenge road...didn't work out worth a hill of beans for me...all it did was make me hate the person more. The day that I decided to forgive that person, I felt 300 pounds lighter and better than I had in over 25 years. Yeah, I held that grudge that long. Me, a Christian holding a grudge. It happens and by the grace of God go I...I don't doubt that someone else may be holding a grudge against me that they haven't forgiven. It isn't for the person being forgiven, its for the person who was wronged. If you can forgive the person who wronged you in the first place, then you are free to live your life without the burden of condemnation, bitterness and hate. It poisons the soul and makes an otherwise beautiful personality ugly. It doesn't matter whether or not they accept your forgiveness, that is up to them and God...you've done your part and now you can move on.
I suppose at this juncture one must wonder what about the trust issue that comes with a judgement call? That is up to the individual who forgave and God. You can't move forward on your own without help, He's there to help you through this if you would only ask. Personally, I still have issues with trust. I have difficulties dealing with female friendships because of one incident and with others in general when it comes to the other incident. The trust issue will always be a bit of a sticking point with me, but I'm working on it with God's help.
If you are in a situation that involves a judgement call on someone else's part, take it to God, let Him help you in the forgiveness department so that you can move forward, unburdened by hate, bitterness and contempt. Its not worth poisoning current or future relationships.
Comments
Post a Comment