Today was a day of contrasts...
It was a beautiful morning, it really was. The sky, a brilliant blue, I had one dog, Izzy, snuggled up against my back, snoring. Another dog on the floor, blissfully sleeping, and a puppy, who really isn't a puppy anymore, pawing at my blankets, snuffling at my neck, encouraging me to get up because he had to pee. Typical morning.
As is my routine, I began my morning thanking God for His protection through the night, His new mercies, and the Lord's Prayer...then I continued with my intercession for the day. Because I do not say 'amen' at the end of the Lord's Prayer, for me, it means that my prayers are ongoing throughout the day. I came to find out last week, that I am not the only one to do that...a man who is a wonderful music minister does so as well.
As I continued my morning routine, let the dogs out, fed the cats and fish, and made my coffee, I continued in intercession, praying for a dear friend who is fighting to get well. She was in a horrific car accident on Christmas Eve, and although her husband is well, her back was broken in two places and her spinal cord severed, paralyzing her below her shoulders. In this last couple of weeks, although the doctors tried to get her to a point that she could breathe on her own, they had to resort to a tracheostomy, a procedure that, thankfully, is reversible. Last week, she came down with double pneumonia. So right now, it's a fight for her life.
A verse came to my mind while I was making my coffee this morning. It was James 5:14-15, and it says:
14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
To which my response was, "Lord, I'm not an elder, nor a deaconess." Back at me came, "but you are a faithful intercessor, a warrior. Take the frankincense with you."
I had to smile at that one. You see, I had begun a prayer shawl for her shortly after the accident, because I knew how cold those hospital rooms can get, and I had just finished it last night, washed it and it was ready to go to her. So, I got my Mouse ready to go, grabbed the shawl and oil and off we went to see her.
I was greeted by one of her daughters, and her friend. I explained to her what I understood to be 'instructions,' and asked if it was okay. Once I got the okay, I anointed her, and together, we prayed for healing for her. Briefly, she opened her eyes, and Mouse waved to her. To our surprise and joy, she waved back. We left shortly after, and I continued with my day.
This afternoon, I received a call from my Best Friend. She began the call asking me to keep a promise. Confused, I asked if she was okay. The answer was no. See, this friend has many medical issues as well, but to top them all off, she is mentally ill, and suicidal. She is in northern Nevada, and I'm in south Texas...a world apart for such a case as this.
She asked that I would make sure that her service dog would get to her co-owner if anything happened to her. I asked why would anything be happening, then asked what was going on. I will tell you, this is the most clear-headed I'd heard this woman in months, and my stomach knotted up. I knew what she was going to tell me before she uttered the words. She had been searching for ways to kill herself. There was a lot of silence on the line then. Words failed me, and prayers felt like they were blocked...all I was hearing was crickets, and dogs barking. I went numb inside, there was nothing. No amount of crying would break through the wall I seemed to be hitting.
I finally got her to agree to call an acquaintance to come and sit with her until her ex-husband could come and take her to the hospital. I ended that call with, "I love you," so she knew someone actually does.
On the one hand, I have a friend fighting for her life. On the other, I have one fighting to end hers. And I'm sitting here, in the middle, interceding for both of them. On the one hand, I rejoice over the small steps that have been made toward recovery, and on the other, I'm angry that every step that is taken, is taken in the effort to end a life. Both women I love dearly. One knows Jesus, the other rejects Him.
I do not like days like these. I feel helpless. I feel under-qualified. I feel as if, sometimes, I'm fighting a losing battle. I know, all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me...I know that. I cling to that like a life preserver, but I get frustrated at the crickets that I sometimes encounter while praying. I know God hears my prayers, I've seen too many answered to think otherwise. I know He does not want to lose even one, but I also know that He will hand those who continually reject Him over to "their reprobate minds." But like Abraham, before Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, I'm praying for my friend's salvation. I'm begging God to allow her to see that there is hope, that there is joy, if only...
If only she would open her eyes, and soften her heart.
If only she would look to the One who loves her more than anyone on earth possibly can.
If only she would accept the Gift from the One who died for her.
But her response is, "You can't convert me over the phone, Lo." And my heart breaks.
Yes, today has been a day of contrasts: joy and sadness, hope for continuing life, and one who looks toward death as a means to end the emotional and physical pain.
I encourage you, as I do myself, that if you have a loved one, or you yourself find that you are thinking of suicide, that you will tell someone. Seek professional help. Call the suicide hot line (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
As is my routine, I began my morning thanking God for His protection through the night, His new mercies, and the Lord's Prayer...then I continued with my intercession for the day. Because I do not say 'amen' at the end of the Lord's Prayer, for me, it means that my prayers are ongoing throughout the day. I came to find out last week, that I am not the only one to do that...a man who is a wonderful music minister does so as well.
As I continued my morning routine, let the dogs out, fed the cats and fish, and made my coffee, I continued in intercession, praying for a dear friend who is fighting to get well. She was in a horrific car accident on Christmas Eve, and although her husband is well, her back was broken in two places and her spinal cord severed, paralyzing her below her shoulders. In this last couple of weeks, although the doctors tried to get her to a point that she could breathe on her own, they had to resort to a tracheostomy, a procedure that, thankfully, is reversible. Last week, she came down with double pneumonia. So right now, it's a fight for her life.
A verse came to my mind while I was making my coffee this morning. It was James 5:14-15, and it says:
14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
To which my response was, "Lord, I'm not an elder, nor a deaconess." Back at me came, "but you are a faithful intercessor, a warrior. Take the frankincense with you."
I had to smile at that one. You see, I had begun a prayer shawl for her shortly after the accident, because I knew how cold those hospital rooms can get, and I had just finished it last night, washed it and it was ready to go to her. So, I got my Mouse ready to go, grabbed the shawl and oil and off we went to see her.
I was greeted by one of her daughters, and her friend. I explained to her what I understood to be 'instructions,' and asked if it was okay. Once I got the okay, I anointed her, and together, we prayed for healing for her. Briefly, she opened her eyes, and Mouse waved to her. To our surprise and joy, she waved back. We left shortly after, and I continued with my day.
This afternoon, I received a call from my Best Friend. She began the call asking me to keep a promise. Confused, I asked if she was okay. The answer was no. See, this friend has many medical issues as well, but to top them all off, she is mentally ill, and suicidal. She is in northern Nevada, and I'm in south Texas...a world apart for such a case as this.
She asked that I would make sure that her service dog would get to her co-owner if anything happened to her. I asked why would anything be happening, then asked what was going on. I will tell you, this is the most clear-headed I'd heard this woman in months, and my stomach knotted up. I knew what she was going to tell me before she uttered the words. She had been searching for ways to kill herself. There was a lot of silence on the line then. Words failed me, and prayers felt like they were blocked...all I was hearing was crickets, and dogs barking. I went numb inside, there was nothing. No amount of crying would break through the wall I seemed to be hitting.
I finally got her to agree to call an acquaintance to come and sit with her until her ex-husband could come and take her to the hospital. I ended that call with, "I love you," so she knew someone actually does.
On the one hand, I have a friend fighting for her life. On the other, I have one fighting to end hers. And I'm sitting here, in the middle, interceding for both of them. On the one hand, I rejoice over the small steps that have been made toward recovery, and on the other, I'm angry that every step that is taken, is taken in the effort to end a life. Both women I love dearly. One knows Jesus, the other rejects Him.
I do not like days like these. I feel helpless. I feel under-qualified. I feel as if, sometimes, I'm fighting a losing battle. I know, all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me...I know that. I cling to that like a life preserver, but I get frustrated at the crickets that I sometimes encounter while praying. I know God hears my prayers, I've seen too many answered to think otherwise. I know He does not want to lose even one, but I also know that He will hand those who continually reject Him over to "their reprobate minds." But like Abraham, before Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, I'm praying for my friend's salvation. I'm begging God to allow her to see that there is hope, that there is joy, if only...
If only she would open her eyes, and soften her heart.
If only she would look to the One who loves her more than anyone on earth possibly can.
If only she would accept the Gift from the One who died for her.
But her response is, "You can't convert me over the phone, Lo." And my heart breaks.
Yes, today has been a day of contrasts: joy and sadness, hope for continuing life, and one who looks toward death as a means to end the emotional and physical pain.
I encourage you, as I do myself, that if you have a loved one, or you yourself find that you are thinking of suicide, that you will tell someone. Seek professional help. Call the suicide hot line (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
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