Spring Chickens
Sometimes life sucks, let's face it. If you're blessed, you get to a certain age where your parents are close to that horizon that takes them from this life to the next. I say blessed, because some of us have to face life without our parents at a time when it wasn't expected, because of illness, or accident or other reasons. When you hit my age, in my case, my parents are 20-ish years older than I am. A few years back I would have said that's a lot of years between me and them, now I look at it as, "Geez! You have an old lady as a daughter! You good with that?" Gotta laugh at that one.
On that vein, being an "old lady" as Mouse has called me at least once in the last month, and dealing with what is referred to as "aging parents" is hard. On the one hand, I'm beyond blessed that I still have both parents with me, on the other hand, seeing one of them ill and declining is hard. To be honest, I never thought I would see my Dad struggle with aging as I am now.
My Dad was an active young man. He hunted, he fished, he water skied. He worked on his yard, on cars, on projects. He always was moving. His mind was always working, sometimes in the direction of "roll your eyes" goofy, sometimes with a bit of frustration, but never was he idle for very long, mentally or physically. Then came the stroke.
That stroke took a vibrant man of 81 and made him into an old man overnight. The Dad I saw when I walked into that hospital room was frail, pale, and didn't know who I was for quite a while. He knew that I belonged to him somehow, but wasn't sure of the context, so to speak. The night was a battle of wills, mostly his, as he wanted to get up and move and leave, but was physically unable to because of the damage from the stroke. Until that day, I didn't really feel my age. I mean, yeah, the fibro makes me feel yuck and sometimes it frustrates me and I say I feel old, but that night, I felt old.
Fast forward to this week. What was supposed to be a week of visiting, going through photos, visiting the VA for the first time in his life (another story, lol!), turned into another step telling me that my Dad's time is short. Sure, he may be with us for a number of years still, but the realization that he's aging, and let's face it, none of us get out of this life alive, well, it hit me in the gut. So much so that it made me nauseous. In my mind, I would imagine the two of them enjoying their great-grandchildren, and seeing them grow into adults and having families of their own. I saw all of us, in my mind's eye, entering God's Kingdom together, old as the hills and twice as dusty, but still, entering the next life because Jesus had returned for His Bride. I guess I was denying the thing that I know is fact...we all age, and just like it's said, two things are certain, life and death. I was, I am, in essence, denying that he should age, and ultimately, whether it is sooner or later, he should pass from this life to the next. It dawned on me that was a selfish desire, albeit one that we all share. There are few who would deny that they believe that they, their parents, children, and so on, should live forever. Well, for those of us who are Christ's, yes, we will, but not in this life. This life has limitations, and to be honest, at some point, we will have come to the end of those limitations, and it will be time to end program.
I don't know what this hospital stay for Dad will entail. I don't know if he will continue to struggle with his health until God calls him out of this life. For those of you who pray, he's not saved, and maybe that's part of my anxiety with all of this. So please lift him up for salvation. I don't know if the doctors will have an epiphany and figure out the right drug cocktail that will eliminate the clots that he's getting and keep him from getting more. I just don't know...I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and, well, I feel old.
For those of you who still have your parents, cherish them. Cherish every nuance of their lives, even when they frustrate you. As they age, don't let those Golden Years slip away from you...make memories, help them when they need it, don't neglect them or push them aside, regardless of the health status they're in. I'm thankful that I am able to be with Dad right now, I'm thankful for the things we shared last night. I showed him some songs that were sung, hoping he would remember them, because some of his memories are gone now. He smiled, he tapped his foot, and even sang a little bit with the songs, and fell asleep listening to them. I am thankful for that, and I'm thankful that I could be here with Mom during this more than stressful time for her.
The Bible says in Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16, Matthew 15:4, 19:19, and Ephesians 6:2 to honor your Mother and Father...I truly believe that God knew that we would struggle in so many ways. He gave us our parents to help us as we grew, to teach us, to pick us up when we fell, to comfort us in the times when we thought the world was crashing in on us as our first crush broke up with us, to rejoice with us in our accomplishments and triumphs. They taught us how to live, how to love, and how to achieve, and some, unfortunately, taught us otherwise. However, they were there for us, teaching us, disciplining us, helping us, and then letting us go into the world to do this for our own children someday. The time has come to continue to honor our parents and for us to be there for them. It's an infinite loop that God set up, as a model for how we should depend on Him, I'm sure. So, as I head into this snowy, southern Arizona day to see my Daddy in the hospital, I'll lean into God for His strength and mercy. I'll pray that God will see fit to keep him with us for a while longer. I'll pray that He will strengthen both Mom and Dad not just now, but throughout their lives, and I will pray that He will strengthen me as I face the fact that my folks are no longer spring chickens, and neither am I.
May you be a blessing to your parents now and in their Sunset years.
Thank you, for all of your prayers. Thank you for each and every time you click in and read my blogs. You are all a tremendous blessing to me.
On that vein, being an "old lady" as Mouse has called me at least once in the last month, and dealing with what is referred to as "aging parents" is hard. On the one hand, I'm beyond blessed that I still have both parents with me, on the other hand, seeing one of them ill and declining is hard. To be honest, I never thought I would see my Dad struggle with aging as I am now.
My Dad was an active young man. He hunted, he fished, he water skied. He worked on his yard, on cars, on projects. He always was moving. His mind was always working, sometimes in the direction of "roll your eyes" goofy, sometimes with a bit of frustration, but never was he idle for very long, mentally or physically. Then came the stroke.
That stroke took a vibrant man of 81 and made him into an old man overnight. The Dad I saw when I walked into that hospital room was frail, pale, and didn't know who I was for quite a while. He knew that I belonged to him somehow, but wasn't sure of the context, so to speak. The night was a battle of wills, mostly his, as he wanted to get up and move and leave, but was physically unable to because of the damage from the stroke. Until that day, I didn't really feel my age. I mean, yeah, the fibro makes me feel yuck and sometimes it frustrates me and I say I feel old, but that night, I felt old.
Fast forward to this week. What was supposed to be a week of visiting, going through photos, visiting the VA for the first time in his life (another story, lol!), turned into another step telling me that my Dad's time is short. Sure, he may be with us for a number of years still, but the realization that he's aging, and let's face it, none of us get out of this life alive, well, it hit me in the gut. So much so that it made me nauseous. In my mind, I would imagine the two of them enjoying their great-grandchildren, and seeing them grow into adults and having families of their own. I saw all of us, in my mind's eye, entering God's Kingdom together, old as the hills and twice as dusty, but still, entering the next life because Jesus had returned for His Bride. I guess I was denying the thing that I know is fact...we all age, and just like it's said, two things are certain, life and death. I was, I am, in essence, denying that he should age, and ultimately, whether it is sooner or later, he should pass from this life to the next. It dawned on me that was a selfish desire, albeit one that we all share. There are few who would deny that they believe that they, their parents, children, and so on, should live forever. Well, for those of us who are Christ's, yes, we will, but not in this life. This life has limitations, and to be honest, at some point, we will have come to the end of those limitations, and it will be time to end program.
I don't know what this hospital stay for Dad will entail. I don't know if he will continue to struggle with his health until God calls him out of this life. For those of you who pray, he's not saved, and maybe that's part of my anxiety with all of this. So please lift him up for salvation. I don't know if the doctors will have an epiphany and figure out the right drug cocktail that will eliminate the clots that he's getting and keep him from getting more. I just don't know...I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and, well, I feel old.
For those of you who still have your parents, cherish them. Cherish every nuance of their lives, even when they frustrate you. As they age, don't let those Golden Years slip away from you...make memories, help them when they need it, don't neglect them or push them aside, regardless of the health status they're in. I'm thankful that I am able to be with Dad right now, I'm thankful for the things we shared last night. I showed him some songs that were sung, hoping he would remember them, because some of his memories are gone now. He smiled, he tapped his foot, and even sang a little bit with the songs, and fell asleep listening to them. I am thankful for that, and I'm thankful that I could be here with Mom during this more than stressful time for her.
The Bible says in Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16, Matthew 15:4, 19:19, and Ephesians 6:2 to honor your Mother and Father...I truly believe that God knew that we would struggle in so many ways. He gave us our parents to help us as we grew, to teach us, to pick us up when we fell, to comfort us in the times when we thought the world was crashing in on us as our first crush broke up with us, to rejoice with us in our accomplishments and triumphs. They taught us how to live, how to love, and how to achieve, and some, unfortunately, taught us otherwise. However, they were there for us, teaching us, disciplining us, helping us, and then letting us go into the world to do this for our own children someday. The time has come to continue to honor our parents and for us to be there for them. It's an infinite loop that God set up, as a model for how we should depend on Him, I'm sure. So, as I head into this snowy, southern Arizona day to see my Daddy in the hospital, I'll lean into God for His strength and mercy. I'll pray that God will see fit to keep him with us for a while longer. I'll pray that He will strengthen both Mom and Dad not just now, but throughout their lives, and I will pray that He will strengthen me as I face the fact that my folks are no longer spring chickens, and neither am I.
May you be a blessing to your parents now and in their Sunset years.
Thank you, for all of your prayers. Thank you for each and every time you click in and read my blogs. You are all a tremendous blessing to me.
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