Tuesday, May 24, 2016

In this year of politics...

Wow. Just wow. 

I have heard so much nonsense regarding politics, that I've gotten to the point that I just have to let loose or I'm going to blow a gasket. Just so you know ahead of time, I'm a Conservative. I vote Republican, but I will vote another party if I feel the Candidate best reflects my views. This year, that's a resounding absolutely not. Anyway, this is a rant, period. 

I have a friend, a staunch Democrat, who gigs me at every turn. Don't get me wrong, I love this guy, he's a friend and always will be. I treasure my friends, even when our religious views and political views clash. However, I have this against him...he paints with a large brush, loaded with disdain for anything or anyone who has a different view. Democrats are the party who, despite being very liberal in their views, is the party who has the most common sense. Personally, I disagree, but that's another blog for another day.

Here's what I have to say about this year and politics. Enough. Enough! Yes, its an election year. Yes, we have candidates that most are wondering who is the lesser of the two evils. Neither one is a "Dream Candidate." Its very disappointing, really. However, this is more about people than the Candidates. 

Let's get this straight. Republicans, Democrats, Socialists, Communists, Tea Party...I don't care about the political affiliation you have. Take some responsibility for your actions!

Did you rob a business and get arrested/shot/killed? Excuse me, but when did it  become acceptable to take from someone else? Last I read, the Ten Commandments say not to steal. Pretty straight forward, people. Don't have money to buy the latest smart phone, the best sneakers or the coolest ride/rims? Get a stinking job! McDonalds is always hiring somewhere. Don't want to sling burgers? Go to Dominoes or Pizza Hut. No, its not going to give you the bling you desire, but it will give you some responsibility, and make you a contributing member of society. Save your money for the things you want, get out of your Mama's house and grow up. There are jobs out there, welfare and unemployment were not created for you to live off the Government's teat for your entire life. 

Did something happen that you didn't like? Protesting is okay, trashing neighborhoods and looting businesses is not. In the Constitution you have the right to PEACEFUL protests, not rioting, looting and personal harm...those are illegal and you should be prosecuted. If you are arrested because you engaged in rioting, looting and personal harm of another individual, then you have reaped what you've sown. 

My friend has posted and said as much, that the race division is the Republican's fault. I beg to differ. You want to blame someone? Blame all of the politicians. They all Race Bait. I don't care what side of the line you're on, they all do it. Quit blaming the republicans/democrats. Blame the individuals who are doing it. It has nothing to do with political affiliation, it has to do with racism and hate in that person's heart. Blame them, not the party, not the Conservative individuals who are trying to steer the moral ship back to its roots. Let me tell you something, like it or not, this Country was founded on Juedo-Christian values. In your core being, you have a moral compass...you have the choice to listen to that compass or not. Don't blame someone else for your failings. It is not the fault of someone who was born over 200 years ago. They were not the ones whispering in your ear to commit the crime, live off the government or hang out with the gang all day instead of being a responsible adult. Go to school, learn a career, get a job. Very few people are born with a silver spoon in their mouths...very few are a Golden Child, one who shoots to fame or fortune in the worlds of showbiz, music or professional sports. Most have had to pay their dues, work hard for what they've achieved, and continue to work hard to maintain the lifestyle if they so desire to. It's not going to be handed to you. Work for it.

For those of you who are about to point the racist finger at me, hold on. For that one finger that's pointing at me, notice there are three more pointing back at you. Black, white, yellow, brown, red...all parts of the ethnic spectrum are being pointed at. Its not just one race that is at fault, they all have their issues, although there are fewer of some than there are of others. My point here is that its not Political Parties at fault for the race divisions, although they are pot-stirrers, let me tell you. No, the spike in crimes, the spike in unemployment or welfare...its all of them. Oh, and before there is mention of a downturn in unemployment? Here ya go...unemployment  is down because of this: People are discouraged. There are some who have run out of benefits because they cannot find a job to support their families, so they have taken part time jobs to make ends meet...multiple jobs, with no benefits, that's why there's a downturn in the unemployment rate. They have to pay the ridiculous premiums of Obamacare, and if they choose not to, they are penalized at tax time for not having insurance. So they take another job just to pay for the insurance they are REQUIRED to have by law...something that their employer does not offer. Poverty has hit new levels. 

Seriously, Political Parties are responsible for many things, for how you respond to your personal situation, they are not. Get over being butt-hurt every time someone says something that you don't like. Quit pouting when someone else wins a game. Not everyone is good at everything, sometimes there are people who are better at it than you are. Get over it. Find something you're good at or something you enjoy and get better at it. Not everyone needs a trophy just for showing up. That's what competition is all about...the one who does it better gets the award, not those who just show up. That defeats the purpose of competition. You want to be a doctor, lawyer, actor, musician? Work at it. Go to school and do the work, don't expect someone to do the work for you. No one on God's green earth owes you anything just because you breathe the same air as they do. Go out and do something to earn what you want, don't take it by force or expect it to be handed to you. Work for it. 

Okay, I think I've ranted enough. Yes, this is a bee in my bonnet. Yes, I'm opinionated. Yes, I'm old-school...I believe in morals, and justice, and competition, and fairness. If that makes me wrong or judgmental in your eyes, I'm sorry. I try to be as fair as possible to everyone, even those who think I'm off my rocker. 

To conclude, I hope that I've given you food for thought. Please do not use a broad brush to paint everyone the same. Everyone is unique and has the ability to choose what they will do. Despite my desire that everyone use their own brain to make right decisions, I know some will not. Are they Democrats or Republicans? Who cares? A political affiliation doesn't define them. Their actions, and their words define them, not the people we elect. 

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

The strongest glue known to Man

Did you know there's a glue that's stronger than Crazy Glue? Stronger than Gorilla Glue? No? Well there is. It's strong enough to heal, strong enough to bind even the most stubborn of things to that which is good, and it's not patented, you can't find the resources for it in the deepest mine. It can't be bought or sold at any price, however, all you have to do to get this Glue is to ask for it through one Person, Jesus Christ.
That Glue is God.

Yesterday was a bit of a frustrating day for me. A lot of things went way off track, whack, insane, whatever you want to call it. Murphy's Law was in full effect. I felt as if I was losing my mind. I prayed for God to fix that which was losing cohesion, and a name kept coming through my mind. So I called. Now, I don't know right now what the outcome of the prayer and request will be, but God does, because He's already there. He's already prepared everything and I just have to trust...and believe He will hold me together. His love, His grace, His mercy and His provision are the glue that will hold me together.

When I came home from dropping the Granddaughters off with Mama, I sat on my bed and just prayed. Names started popping into my head, and all I could do was to pray that God would "hold them together." Marriages..."God, hold them together." People's finances..."God, hold them together." Folk's state of mind..."God, hold them together." The Church..."God, hold them together." This Country..."God, hold us together." Instance after instance would come to mind, and every response was a prayer to hold them together. I have no idea why.

This morning, after a fitful night, I woke to the song, "My Story" by Big Daddy Weave. The lyrics that kept playing over and over, like a tape loop were these:

"For the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him"

I have to say that when you awaken to lyrics like these running through your head, its very hard to be unglued. Because I trust that He will hold me together, I can get through this day knowing that He is in ultimate control...that He was there in the past, is here with me now, and is at the end of whatever situation I find myself in. Because He is outside of time, He is able to see my choices and will give me the tools and the means to get through whatever comes my way. He removes from my path that which is harmful or for evil, and if I will let Him, holds me when all I can do is look up and say help. 

I know this probably sounds depressing, but the way life is going for us here in the United States, there will be a lot more times that we as Her People will look up and ask God to hold us together. Its not just me or my problems at the moment, its all of us collectively. We can't do this on our own. We can stress and worry about the issues at hand, the Presidential race, the immigration crisis, but it all boils down to this: Are we willing to get on our knees as a Nation, ask forgiveness and guidance and to ask God to hold us together? Some will shout out a resounding, yes! Some will shout out equally with a resounding, no! 

As I read back over this, I get that it seems I'm rambling a bit. Maybe so, but I feel like God has given me these words to give to you. That it would be your prayer today. Maybe you have a family that is falling apart. Pray that God will hold you together. Finances that are spiraling out of control. Pray that God will hold them together. Stress and health issues bombarding you. Pray that God will heal and hold you together. 

Have a blessed week, everyone.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Urgent Plea for Help


While there is still quite a bit of work to do, we here in Houston are well on the road to recovery. There are still some who have not had someone in to evaluate their situations, but Recovery Teams and FEMA are doing their best to get to those in need. We still covet your prayers for all involved. For the teams that are going in to do the initial assessments, the mud-outs, and the repair work...for the FEMA teams and most especially for the families who's lives have been affected by the flooding. With more rain on the way, some things will have to be put on hold until areas are dry.
Thank you so much for all of your previous prayers and support. Please keep praying.

Good morning, Everyone! Have a question for all of you.

Have you been blessed by God today? I know a good deal of you will give a resounding "yes!" to that question, and that's a wonderful thing. But.

Here in Houston, there are some who have been blessed to see another day, but the day ahead of them is filled with anxiety and fear.

As most all of you know, we were hit with flooding that some have said is a 500 or 100 Year flood (depending on who you talk to). Regardless of how many centuries we're talking about, we have some areas that are falling through the cracks. Not on purpose, mind you, but because the needs are so many and the emergency workers are so few.

I have been asked to help in an effort that is hitting brick wall after brick wall. One of my good friends, Stella, has asked me to send out a plea for help. She is trying to help the families of the Ninth Grade Campus of Dwight D. Eisenhower High School. That area has seen some devastating flooding and so many families have been displaced. Let’s be honest here, there are some areas that can take the hit because the families have the means and insurance to recover in a reasonable amount of time. This area has families that can not.

I am distressed to see her hit so many walls in getting help for these families. The first to step up should be our Brothers and Sisters in Christ. 1John 3:17 says: 17 But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? In Philippians 2:4 it says: 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

In Proverbs 29:7 it says 7 The righteous considers the cause of the poor, But the wicked does not understand such knowledge. We, as Heirs to the Most High God have the responsibility to help those in need.

Matthew 25:35-40:

35 for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; 36 I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? 38 When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 39 Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did itto one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

This really hit me between the eyes. I am far from being a well off person, but I have clothing I can give...I am able to donate a few cases of water. Small things in my eyes, but for them, a blessing beyond blessings for they have, at this point, nothing.

There’s another thing. There are children who are missing. It is not known whether they are being sheltered someplace and have not yet been reunited with their families, or if they are truly missing. Imagine if that were your child. You no longer have no home, no more possessions, transportation, clothing. All you have is what you left your home with...some with only the clothes on their backs. Then you find out they can’t find your child. Put yourself in their shoes. Desperation is a weak word to use here.

I’m going to put this out there now and you can judge me all you want, but it has to be said. It doesn’t matter where this school is. It doesn’t matter what the income level, demographics, ethnicity, it doesn’t matter. What matters is our Family, our Houston Family is in need. Children are not with their families. Something needs to be done and done now. How will you respond? Me? I’m going to clean out my closets and pantry to give what I can.

I encourage you to search your hearts, and homes for whatever you can give to help these folks in their time of need. It doesn’t matter how much, even a little will help. Please contact me or Stella if you can help.

Thank you, Everyone for your help in this desperate time.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

An open blog for Donald Trump...

Good day, Mr. Trump!

I've been watching your campaign for quite a while. You see, while I am a registered Republican, I do tend to watch all of the Candidates...that are worth their salt. Unfortunately, if one were to measure quantities of salt and apply said quantity to each of the five Candidates on both sides, I'd say the total measure may not even add up to a cup. But hey, that's my opinion, and that's not why I'm writing this blog. Its about Texas, and the scarceness of the Candidates so far.

Yes, Ted Cruz is our Senator/Candidate, and I am thinking that you think that he will sweep the State. While that may be true,and Primaries aside, I still haven't seen his face grace our newscasts. If the nomination goes to contest, all bets are off, all delegates go back to square one and it's a free-for-all for the remaining candidates. But you know that already.

You may have heard while on the Campaign trail that Houston was hit with the worst flooding that they have experienced in recent memory. Not even Tropical Storm Allison caused the flooding and damage that this line of storms has caused. I've heard the terms 100 year and 500 year floods tossed around a lot. Really, that doesn't matter. What matters is the devastation that is going on even as I type this. Families who have never flooded are seeing their homes of 15, 25, even 50 years suffer from the in excess of billions of gallons of water trying to find someplace to go. Lives have been lost, people are misplaced, livelihoods are destroyed. Some have insurance and the means to move forward, but a great deal do not.

In the Meyerland area, for example. Last Memorial Day they had some severe flooding. Some of those families are just now getting back into their homes, only to have flood waters come in and wash away a year of restoration work, and all they own. Some will pull on the hip waders and go through, trying to salvage what they have left...others will give up.

In Greenspoint, many apartment complexes have water still up to two feet. These are folks who can't afford to replace everything they own...they're relying on the Red Cross and humanitarian organizations to help them to get back on their feet. Some are in shelters, some are in other family's or friend's homes, some are still there, wondering what to do next.

The thing about Houston, though, is that we come together. Watching my friend's list on Facebook, almost everyone is doing something to help somebody. People are checking on friends, neighbors and relatives, offering food, shelter, help. We had an Equestrian Center go under water not far from where I live. Total strangers went there to help rescue the more than 80 horses that were caught in the flood waters. In Greenspoint, the Red Cross has asked for volunteers and counselors to help with the onslaught of people who are coming there because they just need to know someone cares. They want to know that people will listen, even if they are not sure what they want. They receive prayers, counselling and help at that center. People have responded. So many organizations, Churches, businesses, even the regular Joe and Jane off the street are rallying together to help where they can. Newscasters and reporters are side by side with Emergency workers helping people to evacuate their homes, bringing food and necessities to those who can't leave.

So why am I telling you all this? Because we need a President who cares about the people of Texas. Not because it's part of the Campaign trail, not because it looks good, but because everyone of his or her constituents matter to him or her. I'm not suggesting you come here and spread the wealth, so to speak, although that would help immensely, but come here and tour the affected areas...Meyerland, Katy, Cypress, Spring, and get your hands in there, helping where the help is needed. Pray with those who just need to have someone to pray with them. Comfort those who have experienced devastating loss. Let the people of Houston, and ultimately Texas, know you care about them, not about the number of delegates the State provides. Then, Sir, you may actually have a fighting chance against Ted Cruz here.

You know as well as I do that things can change in a heartbeat.

Be safe. Be well and may you be blessed as you continue your quest for the Presidency.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Oh, look! There's Nessie!

Okay, so maybe not, but there's some serious rain going on over the Gulf Coast.

We've been in this house since March of '01. Not the most sturdy house in the neighborhood, heavens knows that we've had our fair share of fixes and repair, after all, the house is forty-three years old. However, through Hurricanes/Tropical Storms Rita, Allison and Ike, never once have I had water in the house. Bees, yes, water no.

Apparently this year is different. There's been talk on the neighborhood sites that this could very well be a 500 year flood season, and that's possible, but all I know is I have a bunch of chickens disguised as dogs in my house. Okay, well, my big girls, Bailey and Izzy are better than my daughter's Japanese bred pooches, and as I think about it, they should have the ability to tread or even maybe even like water in their DNA. Nope. The Min Pin will swim the small lake on my back porch, go to the grass, look around and swim back. Because he doesn't even leave a carbon footprint, his paws usually don't get wiped down like the other dog's do. Anyway, as soon as he's dried off, he runs to either the hallway or my room and poops, then comes and tells me about it. Grr! I suppose I should be amused that he tells on himself, but seriously, you're out on the grass, do your business and come in. No spanking necessary! Sheesh!

As for the Shiba mix, he's more creative. He stands on the windowsill outside and pees. He hasn't figured out how to poop from there, when he has to he braves the water, does his business and runs back to the door where he will balance himself on the step until I open the door. I have never seen a dog who thinks he will melt if he touches water with his paws before. I've always heard Shibas hate water, but have never seen it with my own eyes. Its quite comical, actually!

Oh, my house. Some minor water seepage, nothing all the towels in the house won't take care of. No water damage to any furniture or electronics, so God has blessed this home. All that ended up happening is that I got my leg exercises in for the day...at least for now.

If you're in Houston or the surrounding areas, please be safe. Don't drive if you don't have to. There's a saying here, "Turn around. Don't drown." Pretty sane advice. Be safe, folks and may God bless your Monday.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

My Story

Tonight was a tough night for me. Not because something bad happened, but actually, something good happened.

Our Worship Pastor, Marty, encouraged us to (paraphrasing here) feel our lyrics. We can sing and mimic all we want, but to engage those who are listening, we need to allow the lyrics to seep into us and pull out our story. Paraphrasing here, mind you. Then we went back over a song that we're singing on Sunday: *My Story by Big Daddy Weave. What happened next is nothing short of extraordinary, at least to me...because I allowed the words to be my story, and it was tough.

In order for you to understand what I'm saying, I'm going to incorporate the words of the song along with my testimony. So if the members of Big Daddy Weave are reading...thank you for sharing your story so I can share mine.

If I told you my story
You would hear Hope that wouldn't let go

In January, it was thirty three years since my life changed. No, there was no traffic accident that marred me for life; no personal disaster such as a crippling disease; no death of a parent or loved one that so impacted me; no crime committed against me. No, a baby was born. Not your ordinary baby, but one who had gained my love and attention during the forty weeks while she was formed. During that forty weeks, I was able, through the miracle of technology, to hear her heartbeat and see her suck her thumb. My husband and I witnessed a miracle that we never thought would happen. On January 15, 1983, at 11:45 p.m., Andrea Michelle Lane was born. What we thought was a miracle quickly turned into the biggest challenge of my life and forever altered any dreams that I had for her. She was diagnosed with Down Syndrome, and sixteen hours later, the genetic markers were identified and we were hit with the confirmation. The pediatrician who was on duty came in and calmly and clinically proclaimed that we should put her in a home and forget about her. She would never walk, talk or do for herself. We were young and we would be able to have more children. If I had had two ounces of strength right then I would have decked him, yet instead I wept at the callousness of this man who had no idea who he was dealing with. It was then that I resolved that I would prove him wrong. Thirty three years later, I'm still doing that.

And if I told you my story
You would hear Love that never gave up

When we went home later that day, that is when the grieving really started. As I was adjusting to motherhood with the help of my mom and my wonderful mother-in-law, there were times that I would just stand in the shower and weep over the dreams lost. I would never see my baby grow up and do the things that "normal" kids would do. She would never have a first love, a high school sweetheart, a husband or a family. She would forever be with me, but I was determined that she would lead the most normal life that she possibly could.

The first three months of her life were wonderful. She was growing, although not as much as we had hoped, but she was growing, and she was healthy according to each and every doctor's visit that we had attended. Then one day in May, she had a fever of 103 that sent us to the hospital and back to the pediatrician that we spoke to the day she was born. I threw a major hissy fit and demanded that another doctor see my child. Since we lived in the small town of Helena, Montana, the total amount of pediatricians at the time were three. One was mine and she was out of town, another was out sick and then there was Dr. Killjoy (not his real name, obviously). I was stuck with him, but I advised him that if he chose to speculate on anything that was wrong with my child that I would immediately report him to the medical board.
They took x-rays to make sure that she didn't have pneumonia but instead found an enlarged heart. Once they were able to get an iv into her and put an EKG on her, that's when the nightmare began. The EKG showed an abnormality in her rhythm and a specialist was called in Salt Lake City. Based on the initial EKG she was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect. Later that month we went for the heart catheter, where the diagnosis was a PDA and an A-V canal, which in layman's terms meant that she had heart surgery in her future. The Patent Ductus ligation went well, although getting her prepped was difficult and getting her revived was difficult as well. We spent a full week in Salt Lake City for recovery. When we returned home, it was to a full regimen of exercises and programs designed to help her to gain weight and get her up to speed with other infants her age.

In June we hit another setback when one of her lungs collapsed. We spent a few days in the hospital at home while they worked on not losing her since she was still so small. Then later that summer we went back for the second heart catheter to determine when we should come back for the major heart work. We had to have her gain a few more pounds but her open heart surgery was scheduled for October 26th. That day, after what we thought was self-preparation on our parts, we were faced with what seemed like an impossible task; taking our baby girl to the door of the surgical suite. It was then that the realization of seeing our precious child alive again were 80/20 and we were advised because of her size, that we weren't to be overly optimistic. However, since we were dealing with the most skilled pediatric heart surgeons in the country at the time, the apprehension was only slightly eased. We were assured that the surgery would only take six hours....eight hours later we still had heard nothing, and all during that time I read the little Bible that my grandmother had given me, I'm sure not comprehending a single word.  Finally the surgeon came out and explained the delay. They had almost lost her getting her off of the heart/lung machine. Because her heart was so tiny the machine had difficulty making the proper adjustments and her heart had difficulty making the transition. Within an hour, we were able to go to the surgical room doors and follow her into the area where she would eventually spend the next ten days. I had not realized how pale she had been before because when I saw her emerging from surgery, aside from the myriad wires and monitors I found a wonderfully pink baby. How overjoyed I was at that even though I was very distressed over the equipment that made her look more machine than human.

Once she was settled in the ward where she was parked right by the nurses station, we were able to go in to be with her and to get the overview of the surgery and post op instructions. The next 24-48 hours were critical. Most of the next 24 hours found me at her bedside, talking to her and singing to her. When the nurses and our Moms finally convinced me the following day to get something to eat, I went with Mom and Mom to the cafeteria three floors down. Understand, I did not want to go and as soon as my hiney hit the stool, I heard the stat call for one of her surgeons. For the life of me, I do not remember touching one of the stairs that led to the third floor, opening the door just as the nurses put out the no admittance sign. When I asked if it was for Andrea, the nurse quietly nodded and led me to a small, dimly lit room and asked me to wait for her. As I looked around the room, I saw a pamphlet that said "what to do when your child dies". I was devastated and fell to my knees.

And if I told you my story
You would hear Life, but it wasn't mine

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

I cried and prayed and pleaded with God to spare my child. I asked Him to take me instead. I asked why He would give me this child only to take her away, then I pleaded with Him to come into my life to help me to help her. It was then that I accepted Christ into my life.

If I told you my story
You would hear victory over the enemy

 That was 2:22 p.m. on October 27, 1983. At 2:25 p.m., the nurse walked into the room to inform me that she was alright. They had given the stat call when her pressures fell and the alarms went off, not knowing that the surgeon was right there giving her CPR. They had not seen him come in and didn't see him because the curtain was in the way of that side of the bed. Her they could see clearly, they saw him not at all.

And if I told you my story
You would hear freedom that was won for me
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life overcome the grave

Fast forward to today. Andrea is a happy, mostly healthy young woman. She has had her ups and downs. Her father and I split and eventually I met and married her Dad, Chris, who helped me to make sure that as best as we could that she would grow up as normal as possible. She attended some regular school classes along with the special education classes; when she went to high school, she was strictly special education because of the higher functioning nature of the population. During her growing up period she has been in Special Olympics and has received medals for track and field and two for bowling. She had attended three proms and one Sadie Hawkins dance with her Sister and her Sister's best friend. When she graduated, she walked across the stage with her class with thirty three credits, one more than was required to graduate, to the sound barrier breaking applause of the audience and her classmates. As for me, I cried tears of joy at the monstrous applause for my little Girl and for the task well done.

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long

So, this is MY story...this is MY testimony. This is my love story from Jesus to me.

Be blessed, my Friends!

*My Story by Big Daddy Weave
Album: Beautiful Offerings 
Release date: 2015

Thursday, March 31, 2016

The most wonderful time of the year....NOT!

Yes...that's me...sarcasm at its best.
Let's forget that this is March 31st and tomorrow's April Fools Day. Let's forget that we're coming up on the deadline for income tax returns. Let's forget that insurance kicks in the first of the year and we're stuck with the choices we made only because we looked at the deductibles, co-pays and out of pocket expenses and not much else. Wait...let's not forget that one for now.
Let's forget that Punxuatany Phil, or however you spell the critter's name was right and spring has sprung.
Let's focus on something else. Like yellow crud everywhere. It infests your air ducts, spreads like gangrene on your car, leaves yellow running puddles when you water and sticks to black clothes like it was Velcro. Pollen. The yin and yang of Spring around here in Southeast Texas. On the one hand its great, it means the flowers are blooming, and so are the trees, grass and weeds...but it also means great allergies. Yeah. Hate that part.

So, speaking of Spring and pollen and...stuff, I also have to focus on the part about getting older. Oh yeah, I forgot about that in the "Let's forget" list. Another year older and parts are getting worn out. I remember a time when my Little was about three-ish. We were in a grocery store and behind a, shall we say, pretty rank, a little on the chubby side, older woman. And she was loud. Every step sounded like she stomped on a whoopee cushion. And my daughter was quite amused. And loud.
"Mom! That lady is farting!" Yup, let's die right in the middle of the aisle, because the lady stopped in her tracks and froze. Didn't move a muscle. I think she was hoping I'd either go around or leave the aisle. I had stuff to get behind her, it wasn't going to be a quick fix here. When she realized I was still behind her, she scurried, and farted, her way out of the aisle. Score one for the toddler and take one away from the Mom and old lady.

Now, I relate this story for a reason...hang in there, I'm getting to it.

In hindsight, that lady couldn't have been much older than I am now. Who knows what her medical conditions may have been then? I certainly don't. No, I don't engage in such activities, although if I did, I probably wouldn't divulge that information, but...Right now, here in the comfort of my own home, I can say that I truly can relate with a worn engine...so to speak. Coughing and sneezing are not my friends, if you catch my drift.

The other thing...for those who didn't know, I had a nasty panic attack the day before Valentine's Day. Panic attacks for me are, well, no biggie. You have it, it knocks you out from fighting it and you sleep half a day away, you're all better. But no...leave it to me to get one to make me go...hmm. Went straight up into my jaw. Now, you women out there should know that this is a potential warning sign of heart attack.This is female specific. Not that this is the case all the time, but it's one of them. Check out Web MD or the American Heart Association for all of the warning signs for women. Anyway, that scared the behoozits out of me and sent me into the hospital. A month and an aborted angiogram later, there still is no definitive reason why it did it. Did I have a heart attack? Nope. Everything came back clear. Except the insurance...((note: I'm really rolling my eyes. No, really I am)). This goes back to, "lets look at the deductibles and what's covered and sign the forms." Yup...not doing that again. Going to go over those forms this year with a fine-toothed comb and a high-powered magnifying glass. Needless to say, we aren't happy with the coverage, but we're stuck with it and have to bite the bullet.

I guess I'm getting at the fact that growing older is fraught with some interesting speed bumps that no one tells you about. Probably because they don't want to discourage you from it. Maybe they just want to walk behind you as you're doing your grocery shopping and laugh at you every time you take a step and you fart, which I doubt. Or maybe, just maybe they want you to understand that the human body, like everything else in Creation, comes with an expiration date. You know, the "Best if used by:" date we see on everything that comes packaged anymore. The cool thing would be, if someone would tell you what the first date was so that you could do more living before the expiration date came along.

The older folks also don't tell you about the memory thing, either. I guess either they deduced that you figured it out on your own already, or they forgot to mention it...I forgot where I was going with this point. Hmm...

Oh, and the driver's license thing. Now, some of us have decent ones that show a younger us. Lucky, huh? Yeah, not so much. When they look at your license and are just about to hand it back to you, but take it back for a second look, or third, or fourth. Annoyed comes to mind. Foot tapping. Name calling, although not out loud, but boy, are they getting a tongue lashing in your mind. "Is there a problem?" So polite, but inside you're seriously having an issue with their eyesight.
"No, Ma'am...but this doesn't look like you. I, I mean, it does, sorta, but it doesn't. You have some other form of i.d.?"
Are you kidding me? What other form of I.D. do I carry that has my picture on it? Nothing...so I pull out my AARP card.
"That doesn't have your picture on it, besides, they give these to everyone. I just got one in the mail the other day."
"What are you, all of twelve?" Of course, the kid looks at me and raises an eyebrow, certain I just insulted him, but still...
"I'm sorry, but unless you have another form of I.D., you can't buy this stuff."
Mumbling, I dig through my wallet and come up with my Medicare card. I slam it down on the counter (I realize about this time that my neutral face, which usually doesn't look amused at the world around it in the first place, just got more unamused looking, thus giving the kid pause and maybe even a bit of a scare), and ask if that will do. The kid's eyes brighten.
"Yeah, that will work. My Great Grandma has one of these. They only give them to old people."
Peachy....a comedian.


I wonder if I still have time to sign up to be a Golden Girl instead of a Rusty Relic. ;)

Remember what tomorrow is, don't get caught off guard or get recorded farting in the aisle of the store. Remember to get dressed before you go to Wally World, and have a giggle at your own expense if you do get caught in the tomfoolery. Have a great weekend, Y'all! **Weirdness turned off for the night...**